Seeking the Hime's Heart
by EvilNekoEatsYourSoul
Summary: AUKagome, a simple girl with a tragic past, as she unwittingly climbs up feudal Japans social ladder she comes closer to finding love. Eventually InuKag and SessRin
1. The End of a Decade

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Part One: Quest for the Beginning  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Inuyasha belong to me. They were created by Rumiko Takashi.  
  
Author's note: I know, if you read 'The Path You Follow,' I just told you I'd dedicate all my writing time to that story. But this idea has been floating through my mind for a while and it keeps evolving and getting more interesting in my head. It was begging to be written down, but 'The Path You Follow,' will remain the priority.  
  
~*Please read in order to avoid confusion*~ This is an A/U set in feudal Japan, and since my knowledge of the time is limited some things had to be made up. I've already written the second chapter for this story, and I'll post it later if I get good reviews if not then I won't continue it. Anyways, I do a bit of time jumping, months or even years can pass in a chapter because otherwise the story would become very long and very boring. It does have two parts the first part will be about Kagome the second about her daughter. Pairings for Kagome change as the story progresses, couples are as listed: Kag/Hojou, Kag/Kouga and finally, Kag/Inu. The second part will be Rin/Sess. I don't really like giving away the pairings at the beginning but it's to keep people from hating me by thinking I let Kagome end up with someone that I don't intend her to stay with. Most importantly, don't think I'm making Kagome some sleazy girl, because I wouldn't do that and if you read on you'll see that she is respectable.  
  
Chapter 1: The End of a Decade  
  
~*~  
  
The breeze moved quietly through the small hut, making the little girl's hair sway as she sat next to her mother. Her deep blue eyes were transfixed on her okaasan as she listened to the words the older woman wove.  
  
"The cursed hime traveled all over Nihon to find the treasure that would free her heart from its shell and transform her into a beautiful hime once again. But at every village she was turned away because no one could recognize her as their hime-sama. So she went on alone, moving from one village to the next, sleeping wherever she could and eating what little she found in the forests. Until one day, she came across a young man hunting in the woods. He spoke kindly to her and at once she felt her heart soften just a little. Knowing that no one could ever care for the hideous form she had been cursed with, she was determined to continue her journey alone. But concerned for the young woman traveling alone, the young hunter followed her. Throughout the days and nights he stood by her side, protecting her and providing for her. She found that his presence comforted her through her quest and everyday her heart grew a little, straining at its bonds. . ."  
  
She had never finished the story. Her father had entered the room at that time, interrupting them. With a promise to finish the story tomorrow, the girl's mother left the room. But tomorrow never came.  
  
That night there was a massacre, the bodies of villagers lay bleeding and unmoving on the ground. Left in her home, the hut where just hours before she had sat next to her okaasan and dreamed of love and a cursed hime, was a body. A cold lifeless body the belonged to her mother. By some miracle, or perhaps ill fortune was more suitable, the girl's father had whisked her away from that village, though he had sustained a sword wound. But she had seen it, the wide, frightened, dead eyes of her mother. The sword protruding from her beloved okaasan's chest. Life would never fully return, she lost her joy, her very love on that night. She would never again be the same.  
  
It didn't matter that her father had physically survived that terrifying night of death because he would be emotionally dead to her forever. Without her mother, she quickly found that her otoosan had very little will to live.  
  
During the next ten years of her life she traveled from village to village with her father. He was a silk merchant, constantly on the move; she never knew a real home after her okaasan died. Ten years had left her father nearly unchanged; he rarely spoke to her, never showed her any type of affection and was usually drunk.  
  
While her father had remained the same over the course of a decade, many things about her had changed. She was fourteen years old, beginning to blossom into womanhood and was starving for affection. Not love, no, she would never ask for a rare treasure like that. All she wanted was someone to care for her, some kind gentle man who would give her a real home and children. She knew better then to expect an easy life full of joy and riches, she was but the daughter of a drunken merchant; it would be her lot in life to marry a farmer or an inn keep, maybe, if she was lucky she would marry another merchant. Never did she fool herself into believing that one- day a young handsome prince might come and rescue her from the mediocrity of village life. Things like that did not happen in the real world.  
  
The fairy tales had lost there meaning to her ten years ago, the night her okaasan had been murdered. Now she was fourteen, old enough to be married and old enough to know that life never ended as happily as her mother's stories had. That naïve, hopeful part of her had long ago flown away, like a dove taking wing to the sky. Never to be seen again.  
  
~*~  
  
It was the anniversary of her mother's death, though her father didn't seem to notice. He was sitting down, talking jovially to the local daimyo and showing the man his best silks as she waited patiently just outside the door. Leaving the men could do their business in peace. A few people passed her by, none even taking the time to spare her a second glance.  
  
'And why would they?' she thought vehemently.  
  
She was nothing to them, she knew; just some strange, skinny little girl sitting outside of their lord's room. Her hair was the same dull black as the rest of them, with gangly limbs and a plain, pale face. Though she was the daughter of a silk merchant her kimono was made of simple blue cotton.  
  
Her mouth opened in a tiny yawn that she covered with one lithe hand. Beneath her weight her legs began to cramp and ache. She stood suddenly, nearly losing her balance in the awkwardness that comes with adolescence. Before she could fall forward, two strong arms caught her weight as if she weighed nothing.  
  
"Arigato," she whispered sheepishly, raising her eyes to look at her savior.  
  
No wonder he had caught her so easily, he stood more then a head taller then her petite form. His hair was dark brown and cropped short, his face held a youthful handsomeness to it. At his side a katana was strapped. 'He's probably a samurai,' she thought to herself, blushing madly at having embarrassed herself AND troubled one of superior rank to her.  
  
But when their eyes made contact, as she peered at him beneath her long eyelashes, she saw something flicker in his deep brown gaze. It made her shudder a bit and she tore her eyes away from him as he set her steady on her own feet.  
  
"Gomen, my lord. I did not mean to trouble you."  
  
He laughed a bit nervously and she wondered if something were wrong with him. They both stood silently for a while. She bowed her head, looking down at her feet as she felt his gaze upon her. 'What does he want?' she asked herself. He cleared his throat, and she was once again forced to meet his eyes.  
  
"You didn't trouble me, not at all. I'm glad I could be of service," he smiled kindly which made her blush, " I am Junsei, Hojou. One of Takashi- sama's samurai, and who are you?"  
  
"No one," she heard herself mumble, "just the silk merchants daughter, Junsei-sama."  
  
His large calloused hand brushed against her shoulder as he removed the hair from her face.  
  
"Your name?"  
  
"Higurashi. . . Higurashi, Kagome."  
  
At that moment, the shouji door she had been waiting by slid open and her father stepped out. Thankfully, he was sober at the moment. Junsei turned to her father.  
  
"Ah, you must be Higurashi-san. I was just talking to your daughter, she is a very lovely girl."  
  
Kagome's face flushed at the compliment and she felt the eyes of both men upon her.  
  
"Arigato, uhhh. . ."  
  
"Junsei-sama." Kagome offered, since her father hadn't yet been properly introduced.  
  
"Hai, arigato Junsei-sama. I hope Kagome did not bother you too much."  
  
If at all possibly, the blush increased, tinting her entire face rather then being confined to just her cheeks. 'Now he will tell otoosan about my clumsiness and he will be angry with me.'  
  
"Not at all, Higurashi-san. Will you two be accepting my lord's hospitality this evening?" questioned the young samurai.  
  
My father nodded, giving the younger man a curious look.  
  
"Hai, Takashi-sama was kind enough to invite us to dine here this evening."  
  
"Then perhaps I will see you at dinner," Hojou said, looking at Kagome before turning to walk away.  
  
~Kagome~  
  
I could feel his eyes upon me from where I sat. Our gazes had crossed paths several times, and each time he just smiled at me, the look in his eyes so intense, so new to me that I immediately looked away. All the while, I could feel my father watching me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.  
  
We were dining in Lord Takashi's main hall where his samurai and a few other important guests ate their meals. It was pretty crowded and noisy, my father and I sat to the far left side of the room. Junsei-sama sat at the far right side, I desperately needed to escape. I couldn't handle the pressure, between him and my father their looks were driving me insane.  
  
The meal seemed to be excruciatingly slow and when it was finally over and I stood with my father to leave, relief flooded through me. Before we could exit through the shouji, he approached us.  
  
"Higurashi-san, I would like to speak with you." Hojou said, looking at my father. I played nervously with the sleeves of my kimono. My father seemed taken by surprise but agreed.  
  
"Hai, Junsei-sama, but please keep it short, Kagome and I are leaving for the next village early tomorrow morning."  
  
He nodded and my father excused me, telling me to go back to the inn where he would join me later. I had no choice but comply, left wondering why Junsei would wish to speak with my father; he didn't look like the type who wore much silk.  
  
~Kagome~  
  
I yawned into my hand and stretched out upon my futon. Sleep had claimed me before my father returned to our inn room the previous night. Vaguely, I wondered what they had discussed. I noticed the sun had already risen and was surprised that my father had not yet waken me. Didn't he say he wanted to leave early this morning?  
  
Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and noticed my father sitting across the room, watching me. Immediately I began to worry.  
  
"Is something wrong, otoosan?"  
  
He shook his head, a smile gracing his lips. It had been a long time since I've seen my father smile. Ten years to be exact. He looked quite pleased with himself as he began to speak.  
  
"Nothing is wrong," he said, "you are to be married."  
  
My mouth was hanging open, abruptly, I closed it.  
  
"Who-" I didn't even finish the question. I knew, Junsei. I was to marry a samurai. Me, the daughter of some insignificant silk merchant, I was to join the honorable family of a samurai. I should be happy, ecstatic, cheering and smiling. I felt numb. But this is what I wanted, right? Junsei, Hojou seemed like a kind enough man, he had to be to marry someone like me. I had no money, I wasn't beautiful; I was getting the better end of the deal. Still, I couldn't help but wonder.  
  
~*~  
  
It was a very small ceremony, overseen by the lord of her husband. There were other samurai there, but she didn't know any of them. By that time her father had left that village for the next and so she was left alone in this new place; her home. The only thing left of her former life was a few yards of midnight-blue silk that her father had left for her.  
  
After the ceremony, her husband took her to the room they would be sharing within the daimyo's house. For a long time he merely sat and studied her, his roaming eyes turning her cheeks crimson. When he finally approached her it was slowly as if afraid he might scare her off. He put his hands to the ties of her kimono, undoing the knot of her obi almost reverently.  
  
When the complicated bow was undone he let her kimono hang from her petite body. His hands, shaking with uncertainty, cupped her face as he leaned down to place a chaste kiss upon her quivering lips. By now her entire face was flushed with embarrassment and excitement. She closed her eyes as he slowly deepened the kiss, his tongue asking her to part for him. Full of uncertainty, she opened her mouth to him and felt his tongue begin to caress hers. He pulled away slightly and her eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, wondering at how he had managed to convince an angel to be his wife.  
  
He had known the second he saw her, she was the most beautiful girl in all of Nihon. The gentle curve of her cheek, her shimmering blue eyes, her half- parted lips that begged to be kissed, they all had drawn him to her immediately. For him there could be no other. Silently, he thanked Kami as he gazed at the creamy flesh revealed by her gaping kimono. Raising his eyes to her flushed face filled him with a happiness that reached beyond the sun. She fidgeted nervously and he was struck by her innocence.  
  
Leaning forward, he whispered into her ear.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you. I can wait, if that is what you want." It was true, he had no desire to cause her any kind of pain; he was determined to devote the rest of his life to protecting her from everything. Bravely, she shook her head in a negative answer.  
  
"I am your wife," she stated, "it is my duty to please you."  
  
His eyes closed as she took his hand in hers and placed it upon her breast. She then began to undo the ties to his kimono. He could feel her hands shaking as she worked at the knot, his other hand rested on hers before she finished undoing it. His voice was husky with need, but still, he asked.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Kagome nodded silently and he released her hands. When he was fully unclothed, he put his hands beneath her open kimono and onto her bare shoulders. Sliding his hands down her arms, he let the material slide to the floor. He removed the pins from her hair to let it fall in a curtain around her shoulders and she shuddered as the ends tickled her bare flesh. Hojou's breath caught in his throat as he took in the heavenly sight.  
  
~*~*~ NOT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER: I don't post lemons on Fanfiction.net because it's really annoying to have my story deleted. The rest of this chapter is a lemon so I suggest you either go to mediaminer.org or my homepage to read it. Gomen for the inconvenience.~*~*~ 


	2. Movement of Life and Time

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha characters were created by Rumiko Takashi, I don't have any claim to them.  
  
Author's note: After nearly two weeks I got a review for this story and so I want to say thank you to Riomi. I don't even know how you found the story because I have it hidden on MediaMiner, but I'm glad that you did. I had just decided to completely give up on this story because I hadn't received any response even though I really like this particular idea. But I felt a lot better when I got your review and decided that even if you're the only one to ever review this story that I would write it anyways, just because I like this idea and you seemed to like it as well. So this chapter is dedicated to you, Riomi! Hope you enjoy it.  
  
Last time: "Aishiteru," he groaned out as his seed began to spurt into her womb, his eyes were closed and he nearly collapsed onto her. He never realized that she had not returned the words.  
  
Chapter 2: Movement of Life and Time  
  
~*~  
  
There was nothing but the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves and the faint cry of a bird somewhere in the distance. With her eyes closed, Kagome tilted her head to the sky so that the suns rays might warm her. She was feeling empty; Hojou had left two days ago with several other samurai to escort the daimyo to a neighboring territory. They were not expected back for another two days.  
  
At a loss as of what to do, Kagome sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees in a child-like manner. A small pout played upon her lips as she looked back on the last eight months of her life. It had all happened so quickly, one day she was a poor merchant's daughter and the next she was the betrothed of an honorable samurai. Even more surprising had been his confession of love. She had thought that perhaps she could be happy here, and for the most part she was. Hojou was always kind to her, he never spoke a harsh word and when he was home she barely had to lift a finger. But when he was gone it was different. She had no friends and none of the other women would talk to her. The noble women looked down on her and the servants looked upon her with envy, but not friendship.  
  
It was difficult, she had found, to live in a place that you did not belong to. To be caught in between two groups, never quite fitting in with either. But it wasn't something she could not live with. Solitude had been her friend for a very long time, since the day she left her okaasan in that decimated village. After that she had never befriended anyone, in fact, Hojou was the only person besides her father who knew anything about her past. Even at that, she had hesitated in telling him; it was not something she liked to share. But then he had looked at her with such a pleading look upon his face. His eyes had begged her to speak, to break her self-made vow of silence. And she had. It was her duty as his wife to be honest with him, to at least try and make him happy. Besides, he asked for so little of her, just that she listen to him sometimes and speak and smile for him. It was frightening and in some ways she was still wary of his affection.  
  
To her love did not exist and so it did not explain his kindness towards her. But she had nothing to lose, so she went along with it, never questioning or complaining.  
  
The sun was beginning to set and so Kagome stood, stretching her arms in the air. It would be dinnertime soon and she wanted to go to bed early, to avoid the stares and gossip.  
  
~*~  
  
Everything was quiet and still just as Kagome was, she did not want to shatter the placid feeling drifting through the morning air. It was rare for her to leave her room before noon when Hojou was away, no one would miss her presence. They probably wouldn't care if she stayed in the room for days without leaving. Sighing, she began to fiddle with the collar of her yukata. Her stomach stirred and she put a hand against her abdomen to calm it.  
  
Suddenly the quiet was broken, there were voices coming from the courtyard. More butterflies formed in her stomach, fluttering and moving to her chest. She sniffled; not even realizing a few tears had escaped her eyes. His voice could be heard clearly through all the noises and she stood. Not even caring that she wasn't properly dressed, she ran from her room and left the shouji screen open. She felt happy, excited like a child going to his or her first festival. It was impossible to understand why she should feel so emotional, but for the moment it didn't bother her and she hurried out.  
  
When she reached the courtyard he was standing there, grinning at her. More tears fell, streaming down her cheeks and she sniffled. For a moment she just stood at the door watching him. He was the same as he had always been in her eyes, a boyish grin on his face, gentle brown eyes and his arms were outstretched. She hurried into his embrace and he lifted her till her toes were off the ground and he twirled her around. The motion made her feel a bit nauseous and she fought to control her spinning head. After a second it vanished. Burying her face in his shoulder, she heard him whisper.  
  
"Aishiteru, koishii."  
  
She said nothing, there was no way she could ever lie to him. Not about something like that. He didn't seem to mind or even notice, he never did. Those words left his lips two or three times a day when he was with her and yet she had never returned them. Her chest tightened with guilt and her eyes fixed upon her bare feet. Not noticing her discomfort he took her hand and in it he placed a box that was a little bigger then her palm.  
  
"A gift for you," he said, smiling.  
  
It was always like this when he left, he came back with a gift; some small trinket or a few yards of some pretty fabric. It was something she was still unused to since no one had bought her gifts before. Her fingers played over the boxes simple cover and she could feel his eyes watching her, waiting for her to open it.  
  
Her cheeks were red when her eyes met his and he nodded, silently telling her to open it now. After gently lifting the cover and unwrapping it from a small silk cloth a small gasp escaped her throat.  
  
"It's. . .beautiful."  
  
It was a comb, made of some type of green stone that was dark as an emerald. It reminded her of the lush trees in a forest. At the center there was a sakura blossom, all of it carved from the same stone.  
  
"It's called jade. . .," Hojou offered, putting a nervous hand behind his head. "The merchant at the village said it is a precious stone in China."  
  
Her arms wrapped around his waist and her cheek was resting against his chest as she gave him a hug.  
  
"Arigato, it's wonderful."  
  
His hands began to smooth back her long ebony hair and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. It had just occurred to him that she was dressed in nothing but her thin yukata and that they were still in the courtyard. A few people were looking at them curiously but he ignored them. Nothing mattered but the beautiful girl wrapped around him. He could feel her unbound breasts pressing against his chest and desire filled him. Gently pushing her away, he took her hand gently; yes, always gently because she was so small, fragile, he was afraid handling her the wrong way might hurt her. He led her to their room and they didn't emerge until the evening.  
  
~*~  
  
"You came back early." She said, for once feeling uncomfortable in the silence.  
  
Her head was resting against his bare chest and both their bodies were covered with a thin layer of perspiration. Although she wasn't looking at his face, she could sense his smile as he spoke.  
  
"Hai, Takashi-sama's business with the next region's daimyo took less time then he expected."  
  
His fingers danced along the flesh of her lower back and she shivered. It was a nice sensation, knowing someone cared for you. 'But you don't love him.' Her mind scolded. Her stomach did a flip-flop as if it were also trying to reprimand her heartless ways.  
  
"It can't be helped," she sighed to herself.  
  
"Hmmm? What was that, koishii?" his voice was sleepy and she shook her head, making her hair brush against his skin.  
  
"Nothing, Hojou. You should sleep now, it's been a long day."  
  
"Hai," he said, yawning and within a minute he was asleep. She could hear his shallow, even breaths and the steady beat of his heart. Removing herself from his arms, she stood and put her yukata back on before lying back down on the futon.  
  
~*~  
  
So life carried on in that slow, gentle way that made time irrelevant, flowing over them like a gentle breeze. For the first time she was content, having a real home and a gentle-hearted husband who actually loved her. She asked for nothing more, willing to continue life that way until the end of her days. Spending her days cleaning their humble dwellings and other small chores, her nights were occupied by her husband. She owed him that at least, since she did not believe in love and therefore could never give him her heart. Often times they would sit together, speaking of the days insignificant events and he would smile at her so tenderly that guilt would build within her chest and almost suffocate her.  
  
Kagome had grown a few inches taller and her figure had filled out more, but other then that she was basically the same person. Quiet, unobtrusive and sad, but she had found peace in the life of a married woman. She found that being Kagome Junsei was comfortable if not a bit lacking in excitement  
  
Never a day went by that he did not tell her she was beautiful, never a night passed that he did not say 'aishiteru' before kissing her sweetly on the forehead and drifting off to sleep. Not a moment passed that she felt inclined to return those words.  
  
One year of marriage brought her to where she was now.  
  
~*~  
  
"Anou. . . Hojou."  
  
"Hai, koishii?" He glances at me nervously, it has been happening a lot lately. Sometimes when we are lying in our futon at night, I wake up to find him staring at me, a look of fear on his face.  
  
"If I get any bigger none of my kimonos will fit!"  
  
He smiles at me and I return the gesture. It still amazes me that a smile can come so easily when there is someone to take care of you, when you don't have to worry. I rarely ever smiled when I had been with my father.  
  
Walking to my side, he rests his hand on the bulge of my belly where our child awaits its arrival into the world.  
  
"Aa," he replies, a silly boy-ish grin on his face, "don't worry, I will buy you as many kimonos as you like. We should go and see the midwife today and then we will see to your kimonos. Are you hungry?"  
  
I level a playful glare at him. Ever since I told him that we were to have a child he's asked me that every five minutes, if not more. So far I have endured four months of 'Are you hungry?' Not waiting for my answer, he hands me an apple.  
  
"Mou, if you keep feeding me all the time like this I'll be fat long after our daughter is born."  
  
"I don't care, you're beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful and nothing can change the fact that I love you."  
  
He doesn't seem to notice when I turn my eyes away from him guiltily; he's never noticed. It's not that there is anyone else; I just gave up on the fairy tale that is love a long time ago. I forgot it in that room where I left the body of my okaasan all those years ago.  
  
"Daughter?" he asks, interrupting my thoughts, "How can you be so sure Kagome?"  
  
I can't help but smile at the wonder that is apparent in his voice as he talks about our child.  
  
"I just know. Our child's spirit is too gentle to be anything but a girl." I rest a hand on my swollen stomach. He shakes his head and grins in mild disbelief.  
  
"What will you name her then?"  
  
The thought hadn't crossed my mind. I was so caught up in the miracle that I was to be a mother that I had forgotten to think of a name.  
  
"I don't know yet," is my reply.  
  
He takes my hand and we begin to walk towards the village, to see the midwife.  
  
"That's all right, you still have a lot of time to think about it."  
  
I'll be a mother, memories of my own okaasan flitter through my mind. Her smile, her eyes, the gentle touch of her hand, the memories of my okaasan stir within me. I want to be like her when my child is born. I want to be able to look a certain way at my daughter and have her automatically understand that I love her more then anything. When I hold her I want her to know that I will do everything in my power to protect her from harm. I want to have the power that my okaasan had, that twinkle in her eyes that happened every time she looked at me, those eyes that made me feel so special, so loved and so precious. I want to be all of that and I am determined that she will never become the person I am right now. She will not become the confused unloving woman I have grown into.  
  
"I will name her Rin, after my okaasan."  
  
He gives me that adoring smile and nods. All I can do is wonder why he looks at me that way sometimes. Why does he love me? I don't think I will ever know the answer, I don't think I ever really want to know.  
  
~*~  
  
"How old are you?" the midwife asks, placing a firm hand onto Kagome's stomach.  
  
A blush covered the girl's cheeks as the wizened old women started to rub her belly. 'I feel absolutely ridiculous,' she thinks.  
  
"Fifteen winters old."  
  
Silence filled the room and Kagome fidgeted a bit nervously. Hojou was waiting outside of the small hut. The bitter smell of herbs permeated throughout the room and the young woman scrunched her nose in distaste.  
  
"Is this your first child?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
A frown added to the wrinkles already lining the midwife's face. She did not seem at all pleased.  
  
"It could be difficult," she announces, "you're so small."  
  
The weathered hands were resting on Kagome's hips. Her innocent blue eyes widened and she began to chew worriedly at her bottom lip.  
  
"Anou. . . what does that mean? Will my baby be okay?"  
  
The old woman frowns, but turns quickly away. ". . .Perhaps I shouldn't have worried you so much. You seem healthy enough, have you been eating?"  
  
Kagome nodded eagerly, her dark tresses swinging back and forth behind her. Tugging nervously at the sleeves of her kimono, she awaited the midwife's words.  
  
"Don't worry over it so much, you seem to be coming along nicely. Let me worry about it when the time comes. Until then, eat and stay healthy." Her voice didn't sound as reassuring as her words and she would not look into Kagome's eyes.  
  
The old woman turned her back to Kagome and began mixing a pot that was filled with some herbs and other things.  
  
"Sumimasen. . ."  
  
"You can go now."  
  
Quickly, Kagome exited the hut and Hojou took her hand as they began walking through the village.  
  
"What did she say?" he asked. Out of the corner of her eyes, Kagome glanced at him. He had been so worried about her lately, insisting she not do too much work (not that she had much to do during the day), forcing food upon her all the time, staying up late to watch over her. . .  
  
"She said everything is fine. There should be no problems."  
  
Hojou nodded, leading her by the hand towards the booth of a cloth merchant.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	3. The Wrath of Kami

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Author's note: Not much to say. . . I would have updated sooner but I'm in this depressing, "life sucks and I don't want to do anything anymore,"-type mood. Bleh, it happens with me sometimes. Anyways, I did get around to updating and I'm probably just tired what with the projects and exams I'm preparing for. . . Anyways, enjoy the chapter and please review. Thanks. Oh, almost forgot, I'll also be posting on Adultfanfiction.net for those of you who'd rather read there for the future lemons that won't be posted on fanfiction.net.  
  
Last time: "She said everything is fine. There should be no problems."  
  
Hojou nodded, leading her by the hand towards the booth of a cloth merchant.  
  
Chapter 3: The Wrath of Kami  
  
~*~  
  
Kagome sat in the courtyard, watching as the sun rose. It created a beautiful backdrop for the samurai who were sparring in the courtyard. They were training because summer was almost upon them and with it were bound to come battles between the daimyo. The era they lived in was one of great unrest where no one was satisfied with what they had, and desired more of everything. Especially land.  
  
But none of that was on the young woman's mind. She was a merchant's daughter and had never been privy to any knowledge concerning battles and what not. Her entire knowledge of violence came down to one horrid event that had scarred her for life, the death of her mother. Even that, she tried not to think about too much. More so now that she was to be a mother. She would not let her emotions be clouded by her past sorrows, Hojou had given her a new life as the wife of a respectable samurai and she planned to use the chance he had given her.  
  
Hojou waved to her from the other end of the courtyard, his usual grin on his face. A few of the other samurai laughed and teased him for such an affectionate gesture. Samurai are not supposed to show any emotion and yet Hojou couldn't help it. Everything was clear upon his face, his happiness, frustration, and worry all emotions were there to read. Most of all though, was the way his love for her shone in his eyes when he looked at her. It was like a beacon that drew her to him and yet, she could never truly be a part of that light. She existed beyond it, on the outside of that bright flame and for that she was sorry. Hojou had given her so much and yet she had nothing to offer him.  
  
Sighing, Kagome put her hands to her swollen belly, feeling small movements coming from within it.  
  
"Ah, my little Rin, be still. If the midwife is correct you should be born in just over a month."  
  
There was a huff from behind her, and Kagome turned to see a few of the other wives going towards the garden. They were giggling and talking in small groups and Kagome looked away when her eyes met the cold stares of a few of them. While she had grown used to their ways concerning her, it still hurt sometimes. A few tears gathered in her eyes, she had discovered that being pregnant made her highly emotional. But she didn't want them to think they had gotten the best of her, so before anyone could notice she stood and headed towards her room.  
  
It was quiet in her room; no noise came from behind the rice paper walls. All the other occupants were out and about the household. Everyone had a purpose but her. Kagome sniffled, and covered her face with her hands to catch the tears. She sat facing the wall and behind her she heard the shouji screen open and close. A gentle hand began to stroke her hair and she leaned in to bury her face in Hojou's chest.  
  
"Anou. . . Kagome-chan are you alright? Is it the baby? Is something wrong?"  
  
His voice was soft, but held a bit of urgency as if he were afraid. 'He's worried about me and the baby,' Kagome realized. Her tears intensified, turning into sobs that made her shake within her husband's embrace. Her arms tightened around him, as if she were clinging to a buoy in a stormy sea. In turn his arms squeezed her firmly, yet with great care.  
  
"What's the matter, koishii?"  
  
The guilt was too much, with every endearment he called her, every time he said 'aishiteru' and every kind gesture it grew and grew. She couldn't stand it anymore, not in silence. The truth must be told.  
  
"Hojou, I- You are so kind to me and I don't deserve it. I'm no one, just some peasant's daughter and you're a samurai and you do so much for me. I know that you love me but I have to tell you the truth, I don-,"  
  
She didn't finish her sentence, the most important thing for her to say. His lips had fallen upon hers in a chaste kiss, stealing her words. When he pulled away there was something in his eyes she had not seen before. Kagome recognized it as something that had existed in her own eyes for a very long time; sadness. He had known all along then, but he ignored it. Perhaps he was not as naïve as she thought.  
  
"Yes, Kagome, I love you," his gentle eyes had become intense, deep brown pools and his face was serious. "You mean more to me than anything in this world. But is that enough for you, can you live with me like this? I thought you were happy all this time even if you didn't lo-,"  
  
Putting a finger to his lips, Kagome silenced him. In truth she had no choice but to continue living in this way. There was no one she loved, no one she could go to. In the entire world the only people she really knew were Hojou and her father. Kami only knew where her father had wandered off to so then there was just Hojou; sweet, kind Hojou who loved her. Her hand rested on the bulge of her stomach, she was pregnant with his child and so in a way she was trapped even if she had wanted to leave she couldn't now.  
  
"I am happy," Kagome said truthfully, "you gave me a home and you take care of me. For that I will always be grateful. I would never leave you Hojou, I. . . I do care about you."  
  
The young samurai sighed in relief, his features softening as she spoke. It was enough then, that they live like this. They could create their own happiness, in fact they already had. If both of them could not have the same feelings for each other, at least their love would meet within the child that they had created together. For Kagome, that was enough and she didn't feel so bad anymore now that they had an understanding. She would always stay with Hojou, because she knew that he was one of the kindest men in the world and he loved her and she could not hurt him.  
  
"Why were you crying?" he whispered, holding her gently against his chest. She sniffled, remembering the initial reason for her outburst.  
  
"The other women. . . they don't like me and it's just-," she blushed, "anou. . . my pregnancy, it just makes me more emotional I guess."  
  
He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest and against Kagome's cheek.  
  
"Don't worry about them, I promise, I will always take care of you. For as long as I live."  
  
"You don't have to, you know. I can take care of myself." Kagome pouted, her big, child-like eyes gazing up at him. He smiled.  
  
"I know, but it's okay to let people care for you. It makes me feel better, knowing that I can serve you."  
  
"You weren't meant to be a samurai, Hojou. You're too nice."  
  
Kagome bolted up, gasping and covering her mouth. That was possible the worst thing you could say to a samurai. It struck at the one thing that samurai cherished above all else, their honor. But Hojou, he didn't look angry although she had spoken against the very thing that in the eyes of society made him an honorable man. All he did was nod solemnly.  
  
"You're right, Kagome. I would have made a better farmer or an inn keep. But I was born a samurai, and so that is what I have to be. It's not something I enjoy; it is a lot of responsibility and is dangerous. But I don't mind anymore, now that I have you. I'm happier then I've ever been."  
  
It felt good to know that she could speak the truth without being reprimanded. For once she did not feel guilty. But everything she said was the truth.  
  
"Me too," she replied.  
  
~*~  
  
Kagome sat alone eating her dinner, a few seats away from the group of women chatting at the other end of the table. It had been about a week since the daimyo had left with his congregation of samurai. One of the daimyo's allies had called to him for help, having been plagued by raids so early into the summer season. So Hojou had left, although Kagome begged him not to. A sense of foreboding had rested upon her heart since the moment she heard of the situation. It was still their, graying every second of her life while her husband was away.  
  
There was a shout from the courtyard, and the whinnying of horses. Kagome stood, along with the other women in the dining room and headed towards the door. They all walked past her as she stood just at the door leading out to the courtyard. She stood within its frame, watching the events unfold beneath the evening sky. There were two samurai who dismounted from their horses, their faces stern and eyes fierce. Between them was a simple wagon drawn by a single horse. The contents could not be seen from the angle at which Kagome was standing.  
  
The other women gathered around the cart, they gasped, and covered their mouths with soft, dainty hands. Everyone's eyes turned towards her, they were watching every breath she took. The seconds passed by slowly. One woman, with her long dark hair in a simple bun atop her head approached her. The woman wore a simple pastel yellow kimono and her eyes were sad as her hand clasped around Kagome's wrist. She tugged at the girls arm, but Kagome refused to move from her spot.  
  
Lanterns were being lit in the courtyard, as the sky grew steadily darker. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest as Kagome allowed herself to be led forward. The stench of blood reached her nose and she almost threw up. Tears had already begun to roll down her cheeks, heavy drops falling onto her kimono. The kimono was made of light blue cotton with butterflies adorning the sleeves, one of the many kimono's Hojou had bought for her the first day they had gone to see the midwife.  
  
In a matter of seconds she was beside the wagon. For a full minute she was silent, tears continued to fall but she made no movements or sounds. Then it all came crashing down; Hojou was there on the cart, his eyes wide and lifeless. His skin pale and blood soaking his clothing, he was dead. A keening sob escaped her throat as Kagome turned away from the sight and was violently sick. She gagged and coughed as her stomach was emptied and her body shook.  
  
Then there was a pain in her stomach; she clutched the swollen flesh where her baby resided. 'No, something is wrong!' her mind screamed. Then warm wet, liquid gushed from between her legs, soaking her kimono and pooling around her where she was kneeling. All at once there was noise, women chatting and gasping. Kagome just sat there, curling around herself in pain, both physical and emotional.  
  
One of the samurai picked her up, carrying her to her room. The women followed, entering into her room and talking. Beads of perspiration rolled down her face and her eyes became glazed as she struggled to understand everything that was happening. Distantly, she heard the voices of women around her.  
  
"What should we do?" one asked nervously.  
  
"Call the midwife."  
  
"I say we throw her out, it's a bad omen!"  
  
"She has angered Kami! That is why he has punished her."  
  
"Throw her out lest she bring the wrath of Kami upon us all!"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous! Someone go and call the midwife."  
  
Her pain, which had been easing as the minutes passed, flared once again. Gasping, she clutched the sheets, her knuckles white with the exerted pressure. She could take it no more, her head was spinning, her heart in as much pain as her body and all that yelling!  
  
"DAMARE!" she screamed from her position on the futon, Kagome's eyes were blazing as she looked at every woman in the room. (A/N: 'Damare' is like 'shut up')  
  
"Get out, all of you, now! Leave me or I swear on my okaasan's grave the wrath of Kami will be the least of your worries!"  
  
They all stood silent, stunned at her sudden outburst. Never before had she spoken so loudly or so much or so disrespectfully to any of them. She had always kept silently to herself; ignoring their snide comments, her screams had been surprising. It took them all a moment for the words to sink in, and then all at once they headed for the door. The look in her eyes, it had scared them. It was a look of desperation, of a cornered animal and everyone knew that nothing was more fierce and protective than an animal that has been cornered.  
  
When they were gone and the room was silent save for her labored breathing, she let out a sob that was half a moan. Kagome didn't understand, could it be that Kami really was punishing her? Her baby was early, that was dangerous, wasn't it? She didn't know; she had never spoken to anyone about pregnancies or birthing. There were two fears within her heart, one was natural; the fear of bringing a child into this world. The other was much worse and would linger even after her child arrive. It was her fear of the future; she had no husband now, no place where she would belong. Not anymore, she would have no one now but her child.  
  
Outside the door she heard a knock, she could see the outline of a person. Short and a round, it was the midwife who entered. Throughout that night and into the morning there could be heard loud sobbing and occasionally screaming. Just after the sun had risen, came the sound of crying. In fact, there was the sound of two beings crying. One was a greeting of life, the other was a sob mixed with grief and triumph.  
  
~*~  
  
Her entire body felt numb as she kneeled before the lord of her deceased husband. Kagome took deep, steadying breaths to fight away tears. She didn't even know why they still came sometimes, when she least expected or did not want them. It wasn't even for Hojou anymore because she had not loved him the grief was not an overwhelming one. It hadn't taken her long to overcome that particular sorrow, now what she shed tears for was the rough road ahead. The uncertainty that was her future and that would make caring for her daughter even more difficult.  
  
She had been right, the child had been a girl and so it came to be that Kagome kneeled before the daimyo. At his mercy, clutching the infant to her breast and using much of her control to hold back her tears and to keep her fear from making her hold on the child too harsh.  
  
He spoke.  
  
"In situations such as this it is customary for a woman to be sent back to one of her male relatives if her husband dies. I know that your father is a traveling merchant and so it is unlikely we would be able to find or contact him, do you have any other male relatives?"  
  
Silently, Kagome shook her head in a negative answer. She had been an only child, her only family before Hojou had been her father and in truth, she did not want to go back to him. He was a burden upon her soul, with the half-life that he lived.  
  
"I see," replied the daimyo, his voice was strong and firm. "Well, in that case I think it best to send you and your husbands possessions to his last remaining male relative. I believe Hojou-san has a cousin who is also a samurai for the daimyo whose lands border mine."  
  
The lord turned to his records keeper who nodded in affirmation.  
  
"That is correct, Takashi-sama."  
  
Some more words were said, but Kagome ignored them. So that was her fate now, to go to Hojou's cousin. She had never met any relatives of her late husband, and she wondered what kind of man he was. What would happen to her there? The child in her arms began to wail and she politely excused herself from the room.  
  
Stroking the dark, feathery hair of her month-old child, Kagome hummed a soothing tune. All the pain and uncertainty forgotten in the glow of the life she had taken part in created.  
  
"Hush now, Rin." She gently admonished, placing a kiss upon the infants brow. For a long time she sat silently in her room, watching Rin sleep. But then there was a knock on the door, a messenger. They were to leave in the morning but Kagome didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore but her child. As long as she could take Rin with her and raise her daughter then that was enough.  
  
Life had been much more cruel then she had expected. She was fifteen years old, a mother and a widow. But she would carry on; it was all she could do. To follow the path life lay before her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
First of all, thank you everyone who reviewed! Now one with the  
  
Reviewer responses:  
  
Calendar: I'm glad you like the fic. Yeah. . . I'm not a Kagome/Hojou fan myself, he's too. . . dense for my liking. But he is always sweet and caring, worrying about Kagome's health in the anime so I put them together, even if it was only for a few chapters.  
  
Miss_Marilyn69: ^_^ Sorry to keep you waiting for the update. Me, poetic? Wow, I'm flattered, never really considered myself to be much of a poet. Thanks for putting me on your favorites list.  
  
Corruptvisions: I did take a while to think about what kind of person Kagome would start out as * blushes * I'm glad you liked how it turned out. As for Hojou, that part was easy writing him sweet and caring was pretty simple.  
  
Riomi: ^_^ I'm glad you liked it. Really, I loved the idea for this story and was really down when I got no reviews for it. But when I saw that you had reviewed I was so happy because it meant I could write the story that I wanted to and at least someone would be reading it. So thank you for giving me that extra nudge.  
  
Kawool: I'm taking your suggestion to heart, I will be posting on adultfanfiction.net as well. I'm already getting all these thoughts for the future chapters and I haven't even begun thinking about how to build up to those yet! It's just because I'm looking forward to writing the Rin/Sesshoumaru part. It'll be my first time writing them as a couple!  
  
Sprout: ^_^ I'm glad all the work and thought I put into making the time and emotions fit into the story paid off. Thanks for noticing! It is rather strange, that you did not see my story. But that happens sometimes I suppose. I check ff.net almost everyday and sometimes I miss updates and stuff too so I don't know what happened with that. Anyways, I'm glad you found my story.  
  
New Fan: Glad you like the story. The reason I like the idea for this story so much is because I really haven't read any fics with a plot like the one I have in mind. Well, thanks for reading. 


	4. Window's to the Soul

Seeking the Hime's heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Author's note: Yay! Today's my birthday, I'm 18! So send me reviews. . . Yes, that was shameless. . . Well, here's the update. This chapter's kinda slow but just hang on because I'm trying not to rush the story so that the changes Kagome goes through seems more natural. Ja ne!  
  
Last time: Life had been much more cruel then she had expected. She was fifteen years old, a mother and a widow. But she would carry on; it was all she could do. To follow the path life lay before her.  
  
Chapter 4: Windows to the Soul  
  
~*~ It was strange and a bit sad to see Hojou's cousin. They had the same caring brown eyes and boyish looks and so for a moment, Kagome thought she was reunited to the only person who had been her family. But after that one moment she began to notice the differences, his face was slimmer than Hojou's, his shoulder's broader and his hair longer.  
  
His name was Nobunaga Takeda, the son of Hojou's aunt on his father's side. Upon handing him the letter from Hojou's former lord, he had smiled at her. But quickly, his features grew glum as he read through the note. When he was done he looked at her sheepishly. Kagome did nothing but cradle Rin in her arms and avert her eyes from his gaze.  
  
There were children there and a woman who was a few years older then Kagome. She did not speak and so Kagome also remained silent. Obviously, he was married and had children to support so there was not much he would be able to do to help the widow of his cousin. Sheepishly, he scratched the back of his head in a manner that made him seem a lot like Hojou.  
  
"Anou. . . I didn't even know my cousin had married. . . We weren't very close. . ."  
  
Kagome nodded, having already figured that out. Hojou had never spoken of any family and so she concluded that he must not have had much contact with them.  
  
"Gomen, but I'm not quite sure what to do with you. Perhaps you will accompany to my lord's home so that I might ask him for a suggestion?"  
  
In truth, Kagome didn't have any choice in the matter and so she stood and set her child more firmly against her.  
  
"I will take her for you," Takeda's wife offered, holding her arms out to receive the child. "It will be easier for you to walk without the weight. . . and you must be tired already as it is."  
  
Reluctantly, she placed Rin into the older woman's arms.  
  
"A-arigato. . . ummm. . . ." The woman smiled as Kagome stumbled over her words.  
  
"Koharu, my name is Hokaru. It's nice to meet you."  
  
"Arigato, Koharu-san. It was nice meeting you as well."  
  
As she was lead away from the small house she would look back occasionally to the woman who stood in the doorway. In her arms Koharu held the only person that truly mattered to Kagome.  
  
~*~  
  
"Kouga-sama, please forgive me for interrupting but Nobunaga-san has requested an audience with you when your business with Tokuyama-sama is finished."  
  
The two men in the room stood, the black-haired one nodded, dismissing the servant who had intruded upon their conversation.  
  
"Well, are we through?" The other man said, his golden eyes harsh and piercing.  
  
"Hai, hai I know you're eager to get back home."  
  
"Feh! I'm eager to be anywhere that isn't this dump."  
  
"Oi! Inu-koro, don't insult my household!"  
  
"What are you gonna do about it, yaze ookami?"  
  
There was much glaring and growling until a knock once again interrupted them. Through the shouji they could see the outline of two people, one taller than the other.  
  
"What do you want?" Kouga said testily, still glaring at his silver-haired guest.  
  
"Anou. . . Forgive me Kouga-sama, it's Nobunaga Takeda. I was told you would see me."  
  
"Hai, come in."  
  
The shouji door slid open and Takeda entered first, turning to beckon his companion in. A woman, or girl rather, from the looks of her she was still in her teens, followed him in. She was pretty in a simple, homely kind of way. Nothing extraordinary about her, she kept her head bowed in respect and said nothing. At least she did not seem exceptional in anyway until she looked up at the two men who had finally ended their glaring contest.  
  
Her eyes were blue, something neither of them had seen in a ningen female before. But that is not what immediately caught their interest. It was the deepness of her gaze, a sadness that existed within her though she showed no outward signs of melancholy. It engulfed whomever she looked upon and drew them in and made them feel consumed by whatever gray past lay behind her, though they could never know by first glance what exactly it was she had gone through to make her eyes so sad.  
  
The fact of the matter was, Kagome's eyes always held that look and at the moment she was not feeling grief. Curiosity at the two men watching her as she stood behind Takeda-san was what she was feeling. Unbeknownst to her, the sadness was there but it was something she had always lived with and was therefore unaware of it.  
  
"Youkai?" she said, tilting her head to the side to look at the dark-haired man and the silver-haired one standing beside him. Immediately, she covered her mouth. It was improper for a woman of her station to speak so freely in the presence of a daimyo, much less two of them. For upon her first sight of them, she had taken in the fine quality of their clothing and known them to both be men of high rank.  
  
"Gomen nasai!" she went to her knees and bowed before them, "I did not mean to be so rude."  
  
Seeing that nothing of importance or interest was happening, the silver- haired hanyou walked past the girl whose head was still bowed.  
  
"Feh, I'm leaving. See you in a few months Kouga."  
  
"You'd better train, Inuyasha because I'm not giving you any chances next time we fight!" Kouga called out as he left.  
  
Inuyasha ignored the comment, walking out of the room and not looking back though something in his mind, or perhaps his heart was nagging at him to. Later, years after that day had passed, he would regret not staying.  
  
~*~  
  
It was a strange position they were in. Kouga sat looking thoughtfully at the young woman and thinking of her predicament.  
  
"Absolutely no male relatives other than your father who cannot be found?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"You cannot take her in?"  
  
The dark haired samurai nodded.  
  
"What with my wife and the children. . . we just don't have enough room to let her stay. Gomen," he added, turning to look at the widow of his deceased cousin.  
  
She just smiled a bit sadly and nodded. In truth, she had no desire to stay with him and his family anyways. They were too happy, and it made Kagome sad just to watch them; a simple loving family.  
  
Kouga was silent, watching the girl from the corner of his eyes. She was pretty enough, but what really captivated him were her eyes. He had a big home, surely they could find a room for her somewhere and it had been a while. . . His mind was made up.  
  
"I suppose I can find something for her to do here. Nobunaga-san you can go on home, I'd like to speak with her about what kind of position she could have here, I'll have someone escort her to pick up her things at your home."  
  
The young samurai, who greatly resembled Hojou in both appearance and personality, thanked his lord profusely before turning to leave. When he had, the room was silent for a minute or so. Kagome was the first to speak.  
  
"Arigato Kouga-sama, for giving me the chance to work in your household."  
  
She bowed her head, and when her eyes again met his, she fidgeted nervously. There was something she did not like about his gaze. It made her worry, not that she thought he would harm her, but still. . .  
  
"What exactly do you have in mind, Kouga-sama?"  
  
He seemed to be shaken from his thoughts as she spoke. A wolfish grin formed on his lips and he waved a hand.  
  
"Just call me Kouga, I don't like all this formality between us. It won't be necessary in your new position."  
  
Kagome frowned in confusion; she was she that other people had called him 'Kouga-sama' so why should she be privileged to call him in such a familiar manner?  
  
"My new position?" she questioned.  
  
Kouga nodded, his fangs protruding a bit with his wide grin. This wasn't looking good.  
  
"You're going to be one of my women."  
  
For a second, Kagome was sure her heart had stopped beating. Just to be sure, she put a hand to her chest to feel for the rhythmic beating. It was there so then her face turned red, whether it was from embarrassment or anger she was unsure. But she decided it was anger when she saw the smug look on his face.  
  
Using his youkai speed, he was upon her in a second. His arms were around her waist, holding her firmly against his chest; his warm breath was against her ear.  
  
"Well?" he questioned, obviously expecting some kind of answer from her.  
  
There were a lot of thoughts going through Kagome's head. It was a good offer, as a concubine she would not have to do any manual work, her days would be free to spend with her daughter and most likely only her nights would be occupied. By the sounds of it he had other concubines so she doubted that she would be with him every night. Indeed, many women would have fought for such a position. His proposition was starting to look very good.  
  
Who was she kidding? Such a position could never satisfy her, Hojou had taught her to want affection. For him, she had been the center of the world and even if she had not loved him she had cared for him, she had enjoyed his sweet ways. There was no way she would play second to any other woman. Perhaps if she truly had no one to live for she might consider such a thing. But there was Rin. At the thought of her daughter there was no question as to what her answer was. Rin deserved to have a good mother, not the whore of some rich lord.  
  
"No." she said firmly, gently pushing him away. After all, he did offer her help, just not the kind that she wanted and it was never intelligent to be rude to a lord.  
  
"No?" he dumbly echoed, his face no longer held that smug look and Kagome inwardly smiled. Kouga backed away from her, looking very confused. As the daimyo of a rather large amount of land, very few people had ever denied him things.  
  
"Thank you for the offer, but if you will excuse me I must be going."  
  
As she opened the door to leave, she bowed politely before hurrying away. It had been a few hours and although she had left Rin in the capable hands of Nobunaga Takeda's wife she was still eager to get back to her daughter. The house wasn't far away and it was already in sight by the time she heard a voice behind her.  
  
"Why won't you accept my offer?"  
  
She hadn't noticed that Kouga was following her. Sighing, Kagome stopped in her footsteps and turned to wait for him to reach her. They walked side-by- side in silence for a few more minutes.  
  
"I'm a widow." She said finally, although he already knew because Nobunaga had explained the situation to him.  
  
"I know, Takeda-san's cousin's widow. So?"  
  
They were already at the front door, Koharu, Nobunaga's wife, was standing there holding Rin. The woman seemed a bit surprised to see Kagome walking up to the house with Kouga at her side. Kagome jogged the few yards that were separating her and her daughter, but Kouga continued walking behind her. Holding out her arms, she took Rin and held her daughter against her chest, resting her cheek upon the child's soft, thin hair. Kouga was standing behind her and she turned to face him.  
  
What he saw at that moment was completely different then the first time he looked into her eyes. This time her blue depths were not deep pools of sorrow, they were shining now as if her inner light was beaming through her eyes. If he had thought her eyes were stunning before, he forgot that memory as he felt himself becoming warm in that intensely loving stare in her eyes. Even if that love was for the child in her arms and not for him. It made him want to earn that kind of look from her, to bask in that glow of purity.  
  
"This is Rin," she whispered, kissing the child on the forehead. "She's my daughter and that's why I cannot be one of 'your women.' I would not disgrace her in anyway. . . She is all that I have left and I will do whatever it takes to keep her happy. Even if that means I have to work hard on some farm rather then live the comfortable life style you offer."  
  
Once again, she had managed to leave him a bit speechless. For a second he stood there fidgeting nervously, like a child who has been caught doing something naughty. But then he nodded in understanding before turning away. He hadn't taken five steps before he stopped in his tracks and spoke again.  
  
"We could use help in the kitchens, I believe. You would get a small room in my household, one of the servant's rooms. . . but that is what you would be, a servant. Not exactly a place for a samurai's widow, but if you are not willing to be one of my women then it's what I'm offering."  
  
"Arigato, I can accept that offer, I am not above working for my keep."  
  
"Then gather your things and I'll help you carry them back."  
  
In truth, there were not many things she took with her. A few kimonos and the small useless trinkets Hojou had given her, in her hair she wore the jade comb he had gifted her with. It was silent as they walked back towards what was to become her home. In her arms she carried Rin and a sack that held her clothing. Kouga carried a box with all her other things. Most of the possessions she and Hojou had were left with her late husband's cousin and Kagome didn't really mind. Her mourning had ended and now she was about to start a new life.  
  
Kouga was thoughtful and he continued to watch her from the corner of his eyes. All the while he thought himself foolish, never in his life had he been jealous of anyone. But suddenly, he found he envied the infant Kagome held tenderly to her chest.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! Sorry for not having the personal responses but I wanted to post this chapter before my little birthday outing so I'll have them up next time. Ja ne! 


	5. Acceptance

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
Part 1: Quest for the Beginning (A/N: I know, after the first chapter I forgot to note that this is the first part of the story. I just remembered. . .)  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Author's note: Here's the next chapter and it does contain a lemon so you people at Fanfiction.net need to go to mediaminer.org, adultfanfiction.net or my homepage to read that. It's at the end of the chapter and I'll mark where it would start. Also, since it has been requested, if anyone would like to be notified of when this story is updated than e-mail me at EvilNekoEatsYourSoul @ hawaii.rr.com and as the subject put: Hime. My memory isn't all that great, but I'll try to remember to do that hehehe. . . Read, enjoy and review!  
  
Last time: Kouga was thoughtful and he continued to watch her from the corner of his eyes. All the while he thought himself foolish, never in his life had he been jealous of anyone. But suddenly, he found he envied the infant Kagome held tenderly to her chest.  
  
Chapter 5: Acceptance  
  
~*~  
  
Her scent, sweet and clear wafted through the small field. The youkai inched closer to the tree's bordering the clearing. Watching his unsuspecting prey, he grinned. Though her gaze was not directed at him he could see her eyes that shone with the color of the deep ocean. As always, her emotions were clearly written in those orbs. There was weariness about her it showed in the set of her shoulders and in the slight drooping in her eyes. It was not the exhaustion of hard labor. The truth was she didn't do much. Somehow, she had never made it to the kitchens, he had lied; there was no need for help in his household, he had just wanted to keep her near for reasons he barely understood.  
  
Since her arrival, Kagome had become somewhat of an obsession for him. His thoughts seemed to constantly drift towards her. It wasn't because she was an enchanting beauty; because in truth he had seen women far more desirable. Rather it was her nature, caring and cold all at once, both joy and sadness showed in her features. She was pure and yet she wasn't. All that he knew was that she was a mystery to him and he desperately needed to solve her.  
  
Then, there were the feelings, new longings that had arisen within him. Suddenly he craved to have offspring, to see his features set into a young face. But he wanted those children to have HER blue eyes. He wanted Kagome as the mother to those children. Never had he wanted to be a father until she came along, but the way she held her child it was calming, soothing to watch her it made him desire a bond with her in which they could have something so precious as that.  
  
Kouga watched as the young woman who had unknowingly found her way into his heart talked to her infant. Her voice, sweet and melodious traveled to his ears and his grin softened into a gentler smile. He began to approach her, all the while thinking of his empty bed. During the weeks she had resided in his household his concubines found their nights unoccupied and their beds lonely. There was a flaming desire in him that he knew only she could douse; Kagome, the one woman who had denied him.  
  
~*~  
  
"It's so nice to be outside today, ne Rin-chan?"  
  
The child made no indication of having understood her mother, but that was to be expected since she was just barely three months old. Her eyes were bright and they followed whatever movement she could see. Instinctively her eyes went to the young woman sitting beside her resting spot, she watched as her mother stretched out beside her, basking in the warm glow of the sun.  
  
"If you're really that lonely, you could always come and talk to me, you know," a somewhat gruff voice said from above them.  
  
Shielding her eyes with one hand, Kagome squinted to see who had disturbed her peaceful pondering. It was Kouga, of course. The daimyo had taken to following her around as of late. Feeling childish, lying around in the grass, Kagome sat up and the youkai took a seat beside her.  
  
"I'm not lonely," she said softly, "because I have Rin."  
  
"Hontou? She doesn't seem like much of a talker to me," Kouga said, leaning over to look at the wide-eyed baby. He made a silly face, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Kagome laughed and Rin began clapping her hands and reaching out to grab a stray lock of obsidian hair that had fallen over his shoulder.  
  
She seemed to pout when he sat up straight, pulling her target out of reach.  
  
"Well, right now she is quiet, but any day now she will talk to me, right Rin?" Kagome turned her head to look down at the quiet baby, as if expecting her to answer. The young woman sighed as she was hit with a sudden deep weariness. Caring for a child was a thousand times more difficult than she had imagined. But that was not the only thing tiring her, there was also the loneliness.  
  
Before, she had thought that being a mother would be enough for her that her love for her child would wipe out everything else. She had been wrong. There was no one to talk to, no one to care for her, no one to support or help her in raising her child. That's not to say that she didn't absolutely adore Rin, but she yearned for another type of companionship, she missed Hojou.  
  
His face had begun to fade from her memory but sometimes she could still hear his gentle voice, feel his fleeting touch, in her dreams his presence sometimes felt real even though she never directly saw him. When they were married she had often taken his presence for granted, she had always believed him when he said he would take care of her forever and now she was alone. She was alone and raising a child.  
  
Kouga interrupted her thoughts with his usual banter.  
  
"So Kagome, why don't you become one of my wo-,"  
  
She cut him off before he could finish, "No, Kouga. Taking such a position would not only dishonor myself but also my daughter and the memory of my husband. If you have any other place for me in your household than let me know."  
  
He fell silent and as if sensing the tension, Rin began to whine. Her hands batted at the air and wrinkles lined her face as she frowned and began to cry. Kagome picked her up and began to rock her gently in her arms, speaking in soothing tones.  
  
"What's wrong Rin-chan? Will you tell your okaasan?"  
  
The child quieted when her mother placed a soft kiss upon her brow. The tiny hands were patting Kagome's cheek as if Rin was now trying to sooth her. She smiled at the though.  
  
"When will you say your first words, Rin? Maybe tomorrow? Will you say 'okaasan' for me?" Smiling warmly, Kagome placed a kiss on the child's forehead. The smooth baby skin was warm against her lips and she hoped that things would remain like that for a long time. But as it often does, time moved quickly and soon evening was approaching and they headed back towards home.  
  
~*~  
  
The days passed by slow and uneventful. Kagome noticed that Kouga's appearances became more frequent and he seemed oddly on edge when in her company. She ignored it.  
  
Rin was nearing the four-month marker and she still made no sounds other then her crying. Not having any previous experiences with children before, Kagome didn't know whether or not that was normal and so she didn't worry about it. But save for her silence Rin seemed perfect to her mother. The girl had bright emotional eyes like Kagome's, although their coloring was brown after her father. Her face and body were plump with generous amounts of baby fat and Kagome experienced no problems with her health.  
  
Still, there was that lingering loneliness. It seemed like she could never make friends, something always set her apart from everyone else. With Hojou it had been because she was a commoner among those of more noble blood. In Kouga's household there was animosity between her and the servants because she was allowed to stay there without having to work. It wasn't that she did not want to work, she was more than willing to help with chores in return for the cozy little room she shared with Rin and the food that was provided, but Kouga always told her there was nothing she could really do. Discontent seemed to follow her wherever she went.  
  
At night, when the other people within the servants' quarters gathered together to speak with one another of friendly, trivial things, she was left out. But she made no complaints, bore no ill will towards them, she could understand their resentment of her. It was still saddening, but as before she did not let it bother her much.  
  
"Have I ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?"  
  
Kagome didn't need to see the person to recognize the voice. It was one that she had become familiar with.  
  
"Hai, Kouga. That's the second time today."  
  
He came to stand beside her. She was holding Rin, and swaying gently from side to side as the infant slept. They spoke softly, as if the sky with its full moon and multitude of stars would shatter if their voices became too loud.  
  
"What are you doing out here by yourself?" he asked.  
  
"Showing Rin the stars."  
  
"She's sleeping."  
  
Kagome had no answer to that, so she just nodded her head. Of course she didn't come out here to show Rin the stars, the child had fallen asleep a few hours ago. She had seen the sky from within her room and the moon had reminded her of her childhood. The moon had been full on the night her mother had died. It had shone upon her face, white with fear, as she fled from her village with her father. That terrible night would forever be etched in her memory.  
  
For some reason she felt especially nostalgic and lonely. She recalled the night that Rin had been born, how the women had said she was cursed by Kami- sama himself. Perhaps it was true because she could never find happiness for more than a few moments. A stray breeze ruffled her hair and she shivered, pulling her precious bundle closer to share the warmth of her body. An arm came around her waist and she leaned into Kouga's shoulder. Suddenly, she felt very tired and the world seemed impossible big and cold. But beside her, where Kouga stood, there was warmth.  
  
In a way she longed for companionship, in her heart she was in many ways still a child that craved attention. Things had been much easier when Hojou was there to care and provide for her. As it was now she had no one but Rin who was not yet old enough to bear the burden of grief. If Kagome had her way the child would never know grief or want. That is what she vowed to herself, it is what kept her sane throughout the dizzying spin of time and the lonely hours.  
  
"You know. . ." the youkai said, his voice sounding a bit unsteady "I think I might have found a job for you in my household after all."  
  
Her voice was a whisper because part of her was afraid, "What would that be?"  
  
"As my wife."  
  
There was a heavy silence in the air. Kagome felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest, at the moment she didn't have the will to be strong and tell him no. Besides, at that moment, 'no' seemed like the wrong answer anyways because she was tired of being shunned and kept out of the group. At Kouga's side she would never have to worry about people excluding her. He would offer her support and the means to give Rin the things she desired. Kouga had always been kind to her, he didn't seem to care that she did not have noble blood, he seemed to understand how important her child was to her and was willing to accept that. It really was a good offer, to be the lady of a noble household and not just another one of the women on the side.  
  
"It's a perfectly respectable position," he said, his breath warm upon her ear.  
  
"Hai," she said. Whether she was agreeing to be his wife or agreeing that it was an honorable position, she wasn't sure. But Kouga took it as her consent and his arm tightened around her waist as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her eyes watered, she wanted to cry and to smile, to scream and to be silent and so all she did was nod her head in acknowledgement of his affection. Taking one deep steadying breath, she looked up into Kouga's face and when he smiled down at her, she was able to truly smile as well. 'Perhaps things will work out for me this time,' she thought.  
  
~*~  
  
The wedding ceremony was much more elaborate this time. There were many people present at the celebratory feast that night, even the king and his two sons had been invited although their status kept them busy and they did not attend. Kouga said he knew them well.  
  
A nurse had been found and was assigned the sole duty of caring for Rin. Kagome did not like that idea at all. During the busy hectic day of the ceremony she was constantly worried about her daughter. She felt uncomfortable having someone else take part in the raising of her child. Kouga had insisted that as a noble woman it was only proper to have someone to help mind the child. Kagome had argued. In the end and agreement was made. Kagome could keep Rin with her throughout the day but at night, the child would stay with her nurse in a separate room. Although Kagome was not completely comfortable with it, she understood the reasoning and reluctantly complied with his wishes.  
  
As they sat amongst their guests eating the feast that had been prepared for the occasion, Kouga sat very close to her. His leg was pressed against hers, one of his hands rested on her thigh beneath the table. Often, his eyes would drift to her and he seemed impatient for the evening to hurry along so that they could retire to their chambers. Kagome blushed at some of the heated looks he was gave her.  
  
Now that the day had arrived, Kagome was suddenly afraid of the wolf youkai. Though it was true that she was no longer a virgin, it would be her first time with anyone other than her late husband, it would also be her first experience with a youkai. She didn't know what to expect, were their habits in some way different from ningens? Would he be gentle, as Hojou had always been with her or would he be forceful?  
  
Before she was really ready, the feasting came to an end and Kouga stood, offering her his hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet and led her to the room they would be sharing.  
  
~*@~*@ Lemon (and end of chapter)@*~@*~  
  
Reviewer responses:  
  
Miss_Marilyn69: ^_^ Thanks for your continued reading and reviews.  
  
Riomi: Don't worry, I said it'll be a Inuyasha/Kagome fic and so they'll end up together eventually. I'm eager to get them together but I don't want to rush the fic so I have to keep reminding myself to keep it a bit slow so it doesn't seem like Kagome is just hopping from one guy to the next. Oh, I have so many plans for Sesshoumaru and Rin! But I'm getting ahead of myself, so I better settle down and write all the in-between first.  
  
LottaLuvGurl: Thank you for the review and I'm glad you like my fic. ^_~  
  
DBZ Lover: Don't worry, I have plans for Inuyasha and Kagome, but there'll be more angst. LOL I can't just hand her over to him, that would be way too easy. Hey. . . I wasn't the one who killed Hojou. . . he was a samurai, it's their job to fight and face death. . . But Kouga is relatively safe, I don't think I'll kill him off. . . Thanks for the review!  
  
Moonqueen: Arigato for the review and the compliment! I'm flattered that you think so highly of my story.  
  
RavenShadow: Thanks for the review! Hope you enjoyed this update.  
  
Li-Chan15: Thank you ^_^ I did have fun on my birthday and I'm happy to receive your review/birthday greeting. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.  
  
Leelee189: Thanks for your review. I think probably the best comments I get are the one's that say 'this is such an original story' so thanks for that too. ^_^  
  
New Fan: Sorry that I didn't get Inuyasha and Kagome together yet. I hate to keep you waiting but I have other plans for her at the moment. But I promise they'll get together eventually! Thanks for your review. Almost forgot, to answer your previous question Inuyasha will be hanyou and Sesshoumaru will be youkai so characters will continue to be what they are in the anime.  
  
Kenji: I'm glad you like my fic. Yeah, not many people like Hojou lol But just hang in there because I promise Inu and Kag will be together! As for your guess, you've already found out that Inuyasha isn't Hojou's cousin, I'm not sure whether or not Kikyou will be in this fic (I seem to cut her out of my fics for some reason, not that I have anything against her she just never fits in) Shippou will enter later but not as Inuyasha's son. Guess you'll just have to wait and see what happense hehehe ^_^ Thanks for the review.  
  
Kawool: Lol, I'll tell Kagome to feed Rin lots of ramen to help her grow quickly, but she seems to be really protective over the kid so I don't know how she'll take the advice. Thank you for wishing me a happy birthday and of course thanks for the review.  
  
Nena: Thanks for the review and for liking my story ^_^ I can hardly wait to get to the Inu/Kag and the grown up Rin parts myself.  
  
Eikofangirl: Thank you for the review and for the compliment. I will definitely keep writing, I'm really in love with this plotline myself.  
  
RavenShadow: I can't wait to write what happens to Kagome and Rin in the future!!! But I promised myself I would take my time with this fic to make sure that it turns out the way I want it to. Thanks for the review.  
  
The Dragon: I'm glad you like the story and thank you for reviewing. Hehe, I think Hojou is such a funny character in the anime. So clueless and yet all the girls at the school fawn over him. . . weird. I have nothing against him, and after all he was the first to marry Kagome in the fic. . . Heh, but anyways, thanks again and hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Ayama: Thank you for the review. I'm sure your story is good too ^_^ Just as long as you enjoy writing it, it's worthwhile. I'll try and remember to e-mail you whenever I update but I have a pretty bad memory so forgive me if you don't always get it. Hehe Ja ne.  
  
Panthera: Thanks for the review and the encouragement. ^_^ I'll keep writing as long as I keep getting reviews!!!! Lol, yeah I know. . . I'm so pathetic but every writer loves reviews, they're addicting!  
  
Sara: Sorry to keep you waiting ^_^ Hope you liked this chapter, and well, we still have yet to see what else happens in Kouga's household but Inuyasha and Kagome should have their next encounter soon or so I think. . . Thanks for the review.  
  
Klep: Lol @ "I'm the lord. . . of pervertedness!" ^_^ Kouga's going to hate me, first he was abused by a reviewer from my other fic and now you're bonking him on the head. Oh well, I'm sure his hard head can handle it though. Don't worry there will be Inu/Kag parts coming up. . . at some point, I don't know exactly when though. But thanks for the review! 


	6. Green as Envy

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Part 1: Quest for the Beginning  
  
Author's note: My reasons for not updating in a while are as follows: stress, writer's block, Vegas and illness. (I'm still actually kinda sick but at least my mind seems to be clearer) But here I am, still alive and finally able to get the next chapter out. Very sorry about the huge delay and this isn't even one of the better chapters of the story either, but just so you don't abandon the story I'll tell you this: Inuyasha and Kagome are going to meet in the next chapter.  
  
Last time: No excerpt since it was a lemon and the file has mysteriously disappeared off of my computer. But Kouga and Kagome are now husband and wife.  
  
Chapter 6: Green as Envy  
  
~*~  
  
Mornings were always the most peaceful part of Kagome's day. The air Was always so cool on her skin when she awoke to the light of the rising sun. Every morning, for a few minutes, she would sit next to the futon and watch her sleeping husband.  
  
His long dark hair would be splayed messily around his head, framing his strong masculine features. Once in a while his pointy ears would twitch, he would mumble incoherently or shift in his sleep. Those were all small insignificant things that she noticed. She could never really get herself to think seriously about Kouga. He was a mystery that she didn't want to solve because seeking a solution to the puzzle meant having to care and she still was incapable of caring for any human being that was not Rin. So, in her morning routine she would study the minute things he did, the way he wrinkled his nose just before waking up, how he never covered his mouth when he yawned or the way he held his chopsticks in his left hand when he was actually right-handed. Those were the things she knew about her husband, and she never sought to gain more knowledge of him.  
  
As Kouga began to wake, she would dress herself before a maid could come to help her. Secretly, she hated being dressed by others and the only thing she would occasionally allow them to help her with was the tying of the intricate knot of her obi. Used to doing things on her own, being waited on hand and foot did not sit well with Kagome and so she did as much as possible for herself.  
  
After having dressed, Kagome would then leave the confines of the room she shared with her youkai husband and made her way to Rin's room. Usually she would find the maid already awake and tending to the child, who seemed to like the woman assigned to help care for her, much to Kagome's chagrin. Watching Rin interact with others sometimes made Kagome oddly jealous. When Rin would smile at someone or laugh when she wasn't there an ache formed in her heart and she decided that she wanted to be the only one to receive Rin's love and attention. No matter how childish she knew it was, Kagome couldn't help but covet Rin and try to hide her away from the world.  
  
Having retrieved her child, the young woman would then head to the dining room where both girls sat for a few minutes until Kouga's arrival. Once the lord of the house was present breakfast would be served.  
  
On one particularly memorable morning, just after the breakfast dishes were being cleared from the table and as Kagome was standing to take her usual walk through the gardens, there was the sound of much shouting coming from the courtyard. Kouga had frowned and headed directly to the source of all the noise. Kagome, curious and with nothing else to do, had followed. Later in life, Kagome would look back and wonder what her life would have been like had that morning never happened.  
  
But as fate would have it that morning did exist and so Kagome wandered out into the courtyard to find a group of perhaps six or seven youkai. They were being held back by a few of Kouga's guards. At the front of the group was a young female, her hair was colored red and her eyes were greener then envy. The shouting, for the most part, was coming from the fiery-haired female.  
  
When Kouga appeared in the courtyard, with Kagome a few feet behind him, the noise died down and the young woman fell silent with a smirk forming on her lips. While Kouga approached the group, Kagome stood in the doorway, quietly watching the scene with Rin held tightly in her arms.  
  
"Kouga!" the voice that called out to him was joyful and melodic and from her spot behind him, Kagome saw her husband's footsteps falter. It had been barely noticeable, but she had seen it. She had been watching carefully because in the air hung a feeling of importance for that moment and change was in the air. It had been one of those scenes that seem to happen dramatically slow.  
  
With a single word from Kouga, the guards let the young female pass by them and the rest of her group waited behind. Smiling brightly and giggling, she had rushed towards the daimyo and threw her arms around him. The girl, her green eyes dancing, momentarily caught sight of Kagome before Kouga pried her arms off of him. Although she felt stupid for it later, Kagome had been jealous, perhaps slightly angry at the way the girl touched Kouga so familiarly.  
  
Frowning, Kouga held the girl at arms length, "Who are you?"  
  
The girl, yet to be named, pouted for two seconds before she resumed her shouting from earlier.  
  
"What do you mean 'who are you?' I'm Ayame! How could you forget who I am? You are supposed to marry me!"  
  
His frown deepening, Kouga released the girl's shoulders and took a step back.  
  
"Woman, be quiet!"  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!"  
  
Kagome gasped at the girl's bold statement, she would never dare to speak to a man like that. But instead of reprimanding her, Kouga smiled and his eyes widened.  
  
"Now, I remember you." He stated.  
  
The girl, Ayame, smiled, "Yes, and before you left home to claim these lands you said you would marry me."  
  
"Well, I don't remember having ever agreed to that. Besides, I already have a wife."  
  
All at once, everyone seemed to notice Kagome's presence. Everyone there, the guards, the few curious servants, Kouga, Ayame and her companions, they all turned to look at her. Briefly, her eyes met with Kouga's, but she had to look away for proprieties sake and because she couldn't stand the look he gave her. It had been appraising, as if he were mentally comparing her to the other young woman.  
  
It happened so quickly, Kagome had barely blinked her eyes and when she opened them Ayame was there. The girl's clawed hand held Kagome's chin firmly, at her side Rin began to cry. But Kagome could do nothing but stare into the green eyes that blazed in anger. It quickly became painful, the tips of Ayame's claws pressed into her skin and she became afraid. But before anything could happen or be said, Kouga had taken hold of the girl and brought her away from Kagome.  
  
"That little girl is your wife?!" Ayame yelled.  
  
Kagome was startled by the comment, she was old enough by human standards to be married and in appearance Ayame looked to be the same age as her. Holding her by the arm, Kouga dragged Ayame into the house, but as she passed by Kagome she swung around to send the young mother a glare.  
  
"You filthy ningen whore, that child isn't even Kouga's!"  
  
Before anything else could be said the youkai was dragged down the hall and away from the cringing Kagome. Tears formed in her eyes and before anyone could see them Kagome ran, letting her feet lead her to the gardens.  
  
~*~  
  
The day passed by quickly and uneventfully, Kagome was left to herself for most of the day. Left to her own devices, the young wife spent the day talking to her child and walking the toddler around in the gardens. Though her footsteps were still unsteady and timid, Kagome was pleased at the progress that had been made.  
  
Throughout the day there had been much time for Kagome to think of her failures as a wife. She had listed them in her head, starting with the fact that she was not of noble blood. Being that she was common born she lacked training; she did not know the proper procedures to execute the tea ceremony, she could not arrange flowers, she had never been taught any form of art, could not play an instrument, could not deal with servants, did not know how to manage her husbands household and did not know the correct ways to deal with guests. In addition, she was uneducated and so could not read or write. She even needed help with Rin although the child did not even belong to the man she was currently married to. But the worst one was probably the fact that there was no progress in Kouga's quest to conceive a child with her. That is what had made her cry when Ayame had directly insulted her, it was a reminder of her failure as a woman.  
  
Every night since their marriage Kouga had graced her bed, and yet, nearly a year and a half later, there had not even been the slightest sign of her being with child. Kagome was quickly becoming worried that there was something ailing her, preventing her from having a child. Perhaps she was cursed, maybe Kami really was punishing her for something she had done; though as to what sin she may have committed she hadn't the faintest clue.  
  
Life seemed as dreary as ever. Though Kouga never reprimanded her or questioned the current lack of a child, she could sense that he was distancing himself from her. When they had first married, he had doted on her, given her his undivided attention and lavished her with affection. In random intervals throughout the day he would seek her out for his passions or perhaps just for a friendly kiss on the cheek or a fond embrace; those moments had ceased to exist in the past few months.  
  
Recently she noticed his gaze wandering to other women and at those times her face would become heated and red with shame. It was her fault, of course, she told herself this over and over again. She did not work hard enough to please him, she was not pretty enough, smart enough or good enough, she never put any effort into gaining his attention. But that was just the way she was, always quiet unless spoken to, never saying anything that could be seen as an argument, that was the way women were supposed to be.  
  
Sighing, Kagome looked down to her slumbering child. The sun had set a little more than an hour ago. They were indoors now, Rin lay atop her futon blissfully unaware of the turmoil in her mother's heart and for that Kagome was grateful.  
  
The child was strangely quiet, she had not even begun to try and speak in that nonsensical language that baby's have. Having asked around, she knew it was odd but refused to believe that her Rin was 'dull-witted,' as some people tried to convince her. Her daughter's eyes were too bright, too understanding for her to be cursed with any sort of infliction upon her mind. Rin would speak one day, of this Kagome was certain. But mean while, she was lonely and often times she talked to the child at length when they were alone though there was no hope of her being understood. It was just comforting to have Rin smiling at her and tugging at her hair and clothing.  
  
~*~  
  
Soon, it was time for Kagome to go to bed and as she removed the layers of her formal kimono to be replaced with a simple yukata, she realized that she had not seen her husband all day. He had spent the day in his office, speaking with Ayame and the rest of her group, and they had all been absent at the afternoon and evening meals. Not thinking much of it, Kagome yawned and laid out the futon her and Kouga usually shared.  
  
Lying down on her side, she curled into a fetal position and put her hands beneath her head. Closing her eyes, Kagome realized she was no longer tired. It felt strange to be lying in bed alone; she hadn't done so in such a long time. In her head she began to count, it was most likely the only useful thing her father ever taught her. 'ichi. . . ni. . . san. . . shi. . .go. . . roku. . . shichi. . . hachi. . . kyuu. . . juu. . .' too bad he had only taught her how to count to ten. . .  
  
~*~  
  
Kouga never came to bed that night and Kagome tried not to think about what that implied. Just before the sun began to light the still dark sky, her husband stumbled into their room. On his face he wore a lazy grin and seemed startled to find his young wife awake. His kimono was in disarray, as if he had hastily put it on without the help of the servants who usually aided him in dressing. There lingered on his skin, the smell of perspiration and another heavy, musky odor that Kagome did not care to identify.  
  
It was not her place to question him on his whereabouts; not that she had to where or rather whom he had been with was fairly obvious in Kagome's mind. So she said nothing, but rose from her comfortable position from atop the futon and approached him. For one brief, awkward moment she stood before him avoiding eye contact and then she reached to undo the sash holding his clothing together. He said nothing and stayed perfectly still.  
  
Hastily removing his clothing, Kagome went to fetch a fresh yukata from a chest placed in the corner of their room. He didn't turn to watch where she went and so as she went back to him, the clean garment in hand, she saw the thin red welts along his back. She could imagine Ayame being a rather passionate lover, from what she had witnessed of the female youkai. If there had been any doubts as to where he had been, there weren't any now. Calmly, she motioned for him to lift his arms so that she could put the yukata on him and he obliged. Tying a knot into the sash, she completed the task of dressing him and by the time she was done the sun was now beginning to color the sky.  
  
Yawning tiredly, Kouga lay down on the futon and Kagome kneeled next to him and covered his exhausted form with a blanket to fend off the chilly morning air. It was then that she noticed a strand of bright red hair amongst his dark mane. Picking the strand out of his hair, Kagome stood and quietly exited the room just as her husband began to snore.  
  
Finding herself unable to distinguish any specific emotion she was feeling, the young woman entered Rin's room. Rin's maid stirred but did not waken. Choosing a spot next to Rin on the futon, Kagome lay down on her back and held the strand of red hair up to her eyes. Finding that she was neither angry nor sad she internally shrugged and turned to watch her sleeping child until the sun fully rose.  
  
~*~  
  
"You're absolutely pathetic, you know that? You can't do anything right."  
  
Looking up at her 'instructor' Kagome frowned, although she was not the best of students, she did not constantly need to be reminded of her failures. Across the table from her, Ayame smirked her superiority. Before them lay a beautiful antique tea set. Since her stay had become permanent, Kouga had given Ayame the task of teaching Kagome some of the finer points of being a noble woman. They were currently working on the tea ceremony. No matter how many times she performed the act, Kagome's hands never seemed to move gracefully enough or her tea was too bitter or too watery. At least that is what she was told by Ayame.  
  
"Try it again," the youkai ordered.  
  
Sighing dejectedly, Kagome nodded and extended her hand to pick up the teapot.  
  
"I don't like the way you move. You're too jerky, be smooth and graceful," Ayame sighed, "I hate having to teach worthless ningens. It's a miracle Kouga hasn't kicked you out of his household with all your annoying clumsiness."  
  
That struck a nerve, the teapot fell from Kagome's fingers. It crashed against the wooden table and fell into hundreds of pieces.  
  
Screaming could be heard from the room and sniffling. Having finished her tormenting for the day, Ayame stood and left the room, slamming the shouji screen shut.  
  
Dabbing at her eyes with a bit of cloth, Kagome hiccupped. After a few minutes there was the sound of someone entering the room and Kagome did her best to fix her appearance and hide any indication that she had been crying.  
  
"Don't bother, I can smell the tears Kagome."  
  
Of course, there was a down side to living with youkai. They seemed to be able to smell everything.  
  
Kouga sat next to her and took her hand in his claws.  
  
"No matter how much I tell her she will not stop treating you this way until you stand up to her."  
  
Kagome stiffened. He had never before come between any of their previous arguments. Actually, it was more like she had never witnessed him defending her against the female youkai; what occurred between them could not be called an argument seeing as how Kagome never actively responded to the other woman's yelling and insults.  
  
Kouga continued talking, not noticing her unease.  
  
"You are my wife Kagome, as such you do have power over her. As the Lady of the household you should demand her respect; she owes it to you. But because she is youkai she won't just give her respect freely, you have to show her your strength."  
  
Wiping away a few stray tears, Kagome glanced up at her youkai husband.  
  
"I have none," she whispered. To her it was the truth. Strength did not become a woman such as she, who accepted life as it was and brooked no arguments with what fate sent to her.  
  
Looking into her deep, blue eyes he could see that she believed what she said. Shaking his head in semi-defeat, Kouga stood to leave. He did not know how to make her stronger, had not thought it necessary for her to be strong until now. In this respect he could not protect her, she was not in any real harm but life would not be easy for her if she could not stand up to the youkai female's bullying. He decided to drop the topic.  
  
"Anyways, what I really came in here to tell you was that we will be traveling to the Western castle. I've just received word that Inutaisho- sama has died, his son shall now take his place and I have been summoned to pay tribute to him and discuss the contracts I had with his father. So be ready to leave at the end of the week."  
  
Frowning slightly, Kagome stood.  
  
"Then, I am to go with you my lord?"  
  
He flashed her a boyish smirk before nodding his head and taking his leave of her. Fingering the sleeves of her kimono, Kagome smiled slightly. Perhaps a trip away from home would be nice.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers (I'd have responses but I doubt anyone would really remember what they had said since it was over a month ago -_- Oh well, next time.):  
  
Darkmoon0829~*~NightstarAngel~*~LottaLuvGurl~*~Miss_Marilyn69~*~InusDemoness ~*~Inubaby4life~*~LiL_Elf~*~New_Fan~*~Kenji~*~Kawoon~*~Rasberries~*~RekkaShi nen~*~Panthera~*~TheDragon~*~Anhimals~*~ and Sara 


	7. To See You Again

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Part 1: Quest for the Beginning  
  
Author's note: Let's see there seem to be a lot of general concerns about the age difference between Sesshoumaru and Rin. It's like this, the setting is feudal Japan and at the time it was okay for an older man to be married to a teenage girl (And it's not like Sesshoumaru looks his age.). There will be a very big age gap between Rin and Sesshoumaru, if you are utterly appalled by that then I'm sorry but I just can't picture it being any other way. Also, there was this huge outcry of "Kouga! You bastard, you cheated on Kagome!" That is not the case, in the time setting there is no such thing as 'cheating' on one's wife. As a daimyo Kouga has every right to take as many willing females as he can find to his bed; that was the attitude of the times. (Not that I agree with it but it was perfectly acceptable back then.). In any case here is the next chapter. Read, enjoy and review.  
  
Last time: He flashed her a boyish smirk before nodding his head and taking his leave of her. Fingering the sleeves of her kimono, Kagome smiled slightly. Perhaps a trip away from home would be nice.  
  
Chapter 7: To See You Again  
  
~*~  
  
There was an empty hollow feeling lingering in her heart, a fear that what she valued most would not be there upon her return. Yet she was a woman and could not disobey her lord and husband. He had ordered that Rin stay back, saying the child could not handle the travel. While it was true, a week and four days on the road was not exactly healthy for a child of no more than 18 months, but there was a horrible thought plaguing her mind. What if Rin forgot about her mother while she was away?  
  
Kagome sniffled as a maid helped her to dress in an elaborate kimono of many layers. It was made of the softest silk and dyed in a gentle, pastel pink with white sakura blossoms tumbling along the hem and sleeves. Placing a firm hand against the thick obi and applying light pressure, she took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she continued to breath in and out, trying to calm herself before she was to be presented before the ou-sama.  
  
A soft knock came from outside her room just as her hair was done being put up into an elegant bun atop her head.  
  
"Who is it?" Kagome asked, her voice wavering a bit.  
  
In the back of her mind there was a voice taunting her, assuring her that she would make a fool of herself during her stay here, she thought it a bit odd that the voice in her head sounded like Ayame. They had only arrived at the Western castle the night before and already Kagome was absolutely miserable. She couldn't stand the combined anxiety of looking foolish and the fears imbedded in her heart.  
  
Without much thought, Kagome murmured for Kouga to enter, though she hadn't been paying much attention to who was outside her door he was the only one who would come to see her. But as she turned to greet her husband she was startled to see a young woman kneeling in the doorway in a low bow.  
  
"Anou. . .," Kagome said nervously, "was there something you wanted?"  
  
Rising from her bow, the servant smiled kindly.  
  
"My name is Yumi. I have been assigned to serve you for the remainder of your stay here, Kagome-sama."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"You have brought only one maid with you, is that correct?"  
  
Kagome nodded.  
  
Frowning slightly, Yumi continued.  
  
"It is not befitting for a woman of your rank to have just one servant. Kouga-sama is a very important ally to Sesshoumaru-sama and well, we don't usually have female guests in the castle and so we did not know how best to cater to your needs and to keep you entertained and so they sent me here so that I may show you around the castle and take you where ever it is you wish to go."  
  
"I see. . ." was all Kagome could think of to say.  
  
"Besides, I know all the latest gossip!" the servant gushed, finding that her temporary mistress seemed rather lenient and didn't mind her talking, "You'll have so much fun and I'm sure you'll be introduced to everyone at court. Oh, I almost forgot! I was told to bring you to one of the reception chambers where Sesshoumaru-sama and Kouga-sama are having tea."  
  
Grinning broadly, Yumi stood and backed out of the chamber, bowing in respect. Nervously, Kagome stood to follow the girl into the hallway. They passed a few people as Kagome silently followed Yumi.  
  
Keeping her head lowered and avoiding eye contact, Kagome listened as the servant chattered on about some recent scandal between one of the visiting daimyo and a young servant from the kitchens. She barely heard anything being said to her, her mind was already thinking of what she should do when entering the room. More than ever she regretted leaving the safety of Kouga's home.  
  
Along the shouji screen walls were beautiful paintings of lush forests and turbid seas. In her own guest room, there had been a skillful painting of the elegant flight of a crane over a clear blue pond. The extravagant décor made her increasingly more uncomfortable. These stunning halls with its clean, well-kept tatami mats were meant to be floated upon by himes. More then ever she felt like out of place as she treaded through the massive building.  
  
It had been quite a sight, as they neared the large structure of the Western castle. It was completely surrounded by stonewalls, the entire grounds contained several different buildings with separate lodgings for servants, the royal family, guests and a barracks for soldiers. There was also a storage building for foods and other equipment.  
  
Trying to keep her mind clear of worry, Kagome wondered what it might be like to actually live in such a place.  
  
"-then she said that Kimiko smelled like rotten fish. . . Oh, here we are. They're just inside of this room," Yumi said, motioning towards the shouji door in front of them.  
  
Nodding her head, Kagome kneeled outside of the door.  
  
"Would you like me to wait here for you? Or I could wait for you in your room. . ."  
  
"Oh. . . you can wait in my room. . . I guess. . ."  
  
Smiling reassuringly, Yumi turned to leave.  
  
Kagome took another deep, steadying breath before gently knocking on the door. Her eyes were staring holes into the tatami beneath her, not wanting to offend the ou-sama by being so bold as to make eye contact with a man far superior to her status.  
  
"Enter," the voice was smooth, slightly commanding and just bordering on politeness.  
  
Her hand trembled as she reached over and slid the shouji screen, when it was fully opened she placed her hand in her lap and bowed low until her head was less than an inch away from the floor.  
  
"Ah, Kagome," the voice was Kouga's, "come here, sit next to me."  
  
It wasn't proper for her to do that, but it was the request of her husband and so she stood and entered the room, sliding the shouji behind her closed before slowly approaching the table where they sat. She continued to keep her eyes to the floor, only looking up briefly to guide herself to Kouga's side. Never did her glance fall upon the other occupant of the room.  
  
"This is my wife, Kagome"  
  
There was silence for a moment and then the ou-sama spoke.  
  
"You needn't be afraid. Though you are. . . ningen," he said it with disdain, "no harm shall come to you while you remain in my home."  
  
With that comment, Kagome gathered her courage and lifted her head to look at the man sitting across from her and Kouga. There was a sharp intake of breath as she gazed upon him. He was. . . handsome, to say the least, utterly beautiful with his silver hair and golden eyes, his skin was flawless, the color of alabaster. On his cheeks were two magenta stripes; on his forehead he bore the mark of a crescent moon. With his hair tucked neatly behind his pointy ears, it was easy to see that he was youkai.  
  
His eyes met hers as he lifted a teacup to his perfectly sculpted lips and sipped at the warm brew, his movements were graceful and beneath it all she could sense power. Kagome's heartbeat quickened, her eyes became slightly glazed with fear. He was cold, his eyes and face expressionless, as he seemed to study her. Her posture was rigid as she watched the beautifully deadly creature before her. After a moment more she was able to tear her gaze away from him.  
  
Kouga's hand was resting on her knee, she hadn't even noticed his touch until she looked away.  
  
"I said you had nothing to fear, I wouldn't dishonor myself by hurting a ningen female."  
  
Glancing at her husband, Kagome felt slightly better when Kouga nodded reassuringly. Then, as if she was not there at all, they began to talk. With nothing else to do, Kagome studied whatever she could see of the room and half-listened to their conversation.  
  
"-I always thought you hated each other. By the way you treat each other I figured the only reason he stayed was for your father."  
  
"Contrary to popular belief I hold no hate for my half-brother, nor do I blame him for his parentage; it was something he had no control over. While I do not approve of his recklessness, I would much prefer him to Naraku."  
  
"Is it wise to speak of your. . . dislike for the Shogun so freely?"  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the ou-sama shrug and take another sip from his teacup. It was empty when he put it down on the table, his eyes went from the teacup to Kagome's silent form.  
  
Taking the hint, the young wife leaned forward to grab the teapot and refill both men's cups. She was, for once, glad of Ayame's harsh criticism and training. Kagome's hand did not shake when she poured the tea and when she once again set the teapot upon the table it did not make a sound.  
  
"He is, at present, not within the castle. He has gone to some nearby village to take care of 'personal matters,' or so he says. He is respected to return tomorrow."  
  
The conversation lulled on and soon Kagome had almost completely blocked out there voices. She was thinking about Rin, wondering if the toddler would be able to walk without help or hesitation by the time she returned; Kagome hoped not. It was her desire to be there, living every moment with her daughter. As a mother she wanted to be the one to hear Rin's first words, to see the first time her child ran, to capture every smile and giggle and hold those things close to her.  
  
Thinking of those things, she became side-tracked and had to be shaken from her daze by Kouga. Frowning down at her, he stood and offered her his hand to help her get on her feet. Bowing to the youkai king, Kagome backed out of the room and followed her husband down the hall towards their rooms.  
  
~*~  
  
Upon returning to her room, Kagome had dismissed both servants so that she could be alone. Not knowing what else to do she had spent most of the day simply sitting quietly in her room. When it was time for the evening meal Kouga came to escort her to the dining room.  
  
During the meal, Kouga and her sat at a table just below the ou-sama's. It wasn't until that time that she discovered their silver-haired leader's name; Sesshoumaru. In the room there was a low platform with a table set on it, that is where Sesshoumaru sat, next to him was his half-brother, or so Kagome assumed.  
  
The man sitting next to the ou-sama had the most unusual triangular ears atop his head. They were covered in short white fur that matched his hair. From beneath his bangs there was the glint of gold, indicating he shared the same eye color with Sesshoumaru. With the two brothers sitting side-by- side it was easy to see the differences between them. Sesshoumaru was taller, he sat with a rigid posture while his brother was shorter with broader shoulders and slouched over his food. Although they shared their hair color, the texture was different; the ou-sama's was sleek and perfectly straight; his brother's was more wild an untamed, it had more volume. Then there was the expression on their faces, the ou-sama looked perpetually indifferent as if nothing could touch him and his brother looked angry throughout the entire meal, a slight pout set to his lips.  
  
The memory struck her suddenly as she was contemplating the clothing of the ou-sama's brother. He had been there the day she had been brought before Kouga. Though he had left shortly after her arrival it would be hard to forget his features, not just anybody, whether they be ningen or youkai, had silver hair and golden eyes. She supposed it was probably a trait unique to the royal family.  
  
If she hadn't been watching him, his departure would have gone completely unnoticed. While everyone else lingered to socialize after they had taken their fill, he stood abruptly and silently exited the room once he had finished his meal. As he walked, his back was rigid as if he were expecting an attack but his footsteps were light and soft, even if they were a bit hurried.  
  
In her stomach there was an odd fluttering as her pulse quickened. For a brief moment he glanced back and their eyes met. Quickly, she looked away her cheeks feeling hot and flushed.  
  
"Kouga," Kagome said softly, placing a hand on his forearm. He turned to her, smiling indulgently.  
  
"Who was the man that just left? He was sitting next to Sesshoumaru-sama."  
  
Glancing towards the empty seat next to Sesshoumaru, Kouga shrugged.  
  
"Probably just the inu-koro. He's Sesshoumaru-sama's half-brother, Inuyasha."  
  
"Oh," Kagome whispered mostly to herself.  
  
Seeing he had satisfied her curiosity, Kouga turned away from her, striking up conversation with another visiting lord who had been seated next to him during the meal. It was then the Kagome politely excused herself, walking back to her guestroom alone.  
  
~*~  
  
She wanted to see him again. That was what Kagome was thinking at the moment as she sat in the company of Yumi who was busy twisting her hair into an elaborate bun. She had spent the night thinking about the ou-sama's half brother, Inuyasha. When she saw him at the morning meal her gaze constantly strayed to his solitary form. Both Sesshoumaru and Kouga had not been present and so the dog-eared youkai had been sitting alone. Just as the night before, he had looked angry and wary of the other occupants of the room though he showed no indication of knowing she had been watching him.  
  
He was odd compared to the other occupants of the castle, while the rest of the nobility seemed quite social, spending their time chatting with one another while he stayed absolutely silent. Kagome thought that perhaps they had something in common as she too did not join in the conversation.  
  
But she did listen to the talk around her, she noticed the curious glances she received and even heard some of the whispered comments. It was as if they thought that because she was a ningen, that she could not hear at all. This morning she had noticed that the majority of the castle's occupants were youkai.  
  
Some unknown source seemed to have gathered the information that Kagome was not born of noble blood. She was common born, not much better then some of the servants attending the courtiers, and she was married to a youkai. A few women looked at her with barely concealed dislike. Through it all she kept her head lowered in an attempt to avoid confrontation. She was used to being disliked.  
  
Shaking herself from the memories of this morning, Kagome ventured to question the servant despite the impropriety of her asking about a male other then her husband.  
  
"Anou. . . Yumi-san," she began nervously, "there was a man at breakfast. . . He had silver hair and was- well, he was sitting by himself. . ."  
  
"Oh! That must have been Inuyasha-sama. They say that he is a hanyou."  
  
"Hanyou?" Kagome repeated.  
  
"Hai," the young servant nodded enthusiastically, flying into explanation mode. "It happened a long time ago, like almost a hundred years!"  
  
"A hundred years? How is that possible?"  
  
"Well, he is part youkai."  
  
Kagome held the rest of her questions. In anycase she felt stupid having to ask questions about the differences between youkai and ningens, after all wasn't she the one married to a youkai? But she had never thought to ask any questions, she had assumed that they were pretty much the same other then the pointed ears and increased strength.  
  
"It was such a huge scandal at the time that some of the youkai still talk about it. Inuyasha-sama's mother was ningen and married to a ningen man who was a close ally to Inutaisho-sama and so the family often visited here. So when Inuyasha-sama was born with his silver hair and golden eyes it was apparent whose son he was. Both mother and child were to be killed by her husband so she ran away and came to this castle. But the night after her arrival she committed hara-kiri to wipe away the dishonor of her son and to regain some of her own lost honor. Besides the fact that his mother was dishonorable, Inuyasha-sama is a hanyou and so in this place he is an outcast."  
  
As Yumi finished her explanation, the door to Kagome's room was thrown open. Before she could even see who had so abruptly entered the room Kagome was being held by the collar of her kimono, her feet dangling a few inches from the floor. Her startled blue eyes met with angry golden ones. Inuyasha snarled in her face.  
  
"What are you doing sticking your nose into my business wench?"  
  
Kagome flinched visibly, turning her head away from him in shame. She had wanted to see him again, but not under circumstances such as this.  
  
"Gomen nasai, I was just- I didn't know. . ." Tears formed in her eyes and she sniffled at the harshness of his voice.  
  
Kneeling on the ground, Yumi was bowing and apologizing profusely to the angered hanyou. Ignoring the servant, Inuyasha's grip on Kagome's kimono tightened before he dropped her to the floor.  
  
"Don't bother crying, I wouldn't hurt a pathetic ningen like you and I don't need your sympathy. Not from some spoiled 'noble woman,' whose probably never even lost a hair pin."  
  
The tears fell freely now, streaming down her face and falling onto the tatami mats. Frustration, anger and sorrow built within her.  
  
"You don't know me," she whispered, surprised at herself for speaking anything but an apology to him. But she wasn't afraid anymore, he was wrong to treat her that way. He wasn't the only person who had lost someone important to them. To her it seemed very wrong that he should assume she had lived an easy life, it was an insult to her existence because it took so much effort for her to live with all the unhappiness that brewed within her. Yet she couldn't help but cling to what was inbred in her, to submit to the will of a man.  
  
"And I don't want to know you, so just mind your own damn business."  
  
"I'm sorry," Kagome whispered, "I didn't mean to pry or to upset you. I didn't know anything about it, she was just explaining. No harm was meant."  
  
He said nothing, but left her room silently, slamming the shouji screen shut behind him. Stunned, Kagome sat silently staring after him and ignoring Yumi's frantic questions. More then ever, Kagome wished she were at home with Rin, who never failed to comfort her.  
  
"Leave me," when she spoke those words her voice was firm. It was unlike anything she'd ever heard from herself. When Yumi had left, she methodically went through the actions of cleaning her face before lying awake in her futon for the remainder of the day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Reviewer responses:  
  
Thank you for reviewing everyone!  
  
Miss_Marilyn69: Thanks for sticking with the story and I'm feeling much better now so thanks for the concern. ^_^  
  
Inu_obsessed_chick27: Thanks you and I'm glad you like my story so much.  
  
Lil-sesshi: Here's the update, hope you enjoyed it.  
  
Zuppy70: I know, I feel bad for Kagome and I'm the one making all the bad stuff happen to her -_-. Thanks for reading.  
  
Riomi: You know, I actually had the whole idea for Kagome dressing Kouga after he was with Ayame scene in my head for a long time. It was the rest of the chapter that took me a while to get together. I like that scene just because I think it really shows what a dedicated wife Kagome is, she understands that it is her place to accept those things (even if we think differently). I didn't want to make Kouga look like such an asshole because in the anime he isn't a bad character but I thought the last chapter was truer to the feudal times. Sorry to make you get so emotional so that your roommate thinks you're crazy lol but it's good for my ego to know you get caught up in the story! ^_^ I think now that we've gotten Kagome and Inuyasha in the same place that my writing will go smoother so hopefully that means no more super long time periods between updates.  
  
Sara-sama: Well, for the time being Kagome doesn't have to put up with Kagome, and I'll see what I can do about that missing back-bone. ^_^ As you can see, Inuyasha was there, although circumstances were less then pleasant. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
  
Naheta: I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far.  
  
Kenji: Hmm. . . While I didn't make Kouga the best husband, I don't think he's a total jerk, I rather like his character. In any case, I do have plans for the breaking up of Kouga and Kagome but it won't come for a little while more.  
  
NewFan: Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm glad you liked the insight on the last one. ^_^  
  
Anhimals: Well, Kagome and Inuyasha have met, but they aren't going to be together just yet.  
  
Rasberries: I really enjoy reading your reviews. ^_^ I'm also glad that you think I'm doing a satisfactory job in sticking to the reality of Asian cultures of the time period, as much as possible I try not to stray, but. . . heh sometimes it can't be helped. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Rini: Well, Sess/rin action won't be for a while more, but soon we'll have Inuyasha/Kagome interaction but not a relationship yet. Kouga's still around after all. . .  
  
Kari: Don't worry, Inu/Kag is on the way. I'm sorry to make you cry -_- but I'm happy you cried because it means my writing is meaningful hehe.  
  
Firefrost: Well, here is the beginning of the kagome/Inuyasha interaction. I think you're the first person to say you cried during the Hojou scene. I think most people were happy to have him gone hehe.  
  
Aubrey: I update the chapters on adultfanfiction at the same time I update chapters of my stories on accounts at other places. So these chapters here are just as recent as anywhere else. I also post at mediaminer and fanfiction.net (but no lemons on fanfiction.net). ^_^ thanks for reading.  
  
Despitefulsaint: Thanks for reading and I'm so glad to hear you like the story so far. 


	8. Disturbed Sanctuary

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Part 1: Quest for the Beginning  
  
Author's note: Sorry it took a while to get this update out, I actually should post a chapter for my other story since I rotate the updates, but I currently have a block for that story so I figured I might as well write for this one since I was inspired. On another note, I'll be moving soon and will therefore be unable to write which means no update probably for another week or two. Anyways, read enjoy and review.  
  
Last time: "Leave me," when she spoke those words her voice was firm. It was unlike anything she'd ever heard from herself. When Yumi had left, she methodically went through the actions of cleaning her face before lying awake in her futon for the remainder of the day.  
  
Chapter 8: Disturbed Sanctuary  
  
~*~  
  
Nothing was ever quite as soothing as the soft sounds of running water. In the castle's garden, Kagome sat idly watching the shimmering bodies of koi swimming through the small stream-fed pond. The fish were mostly large. Some of them lingered lazily in a single spot, watching for anything that might resemble food.  
  
Despite the fact that the palace was full of people and youkai, Kagome was lonely. She had been introduced to various people, all of which who had been critically polite to her. But in their eyes, their stares, she could sense disdain. It was easier to avoid any social situations by spending her days alone in the quiet garden rather then risk embarrassing herself and being subjected to whispered insults. In any case, no one sought her company during the day. In fact, the only person she ever spoke to besides the servants was Kouga who had sought her company in bed every night since they had arrived in the castle. But the wolf youkai offered little comfort and didn't even seem to notice her unhappiness. Though in truth, if he had asked she would have lied.  
  
Two days had passed since the incident with the hanyou but nothing was said about it. The only time they saw each other was during the meals. Sometimes as she was eating, Kagome would look up to find his eyes upon her and both would quickly turn away. Only once had she seen him outside of the dining room, it had been as she was hiding behind a corner, listening to a group of women talk about how she had supposedly seduced Kouga in order to capture him as her husband. From around the corner Kagome heard a sudden silence fall over the gossiping group and then snickering, then a moment later Inuyasha had rounded the corner, nearly walking into her. Taking a surprised step back, her feet had gotten caught in the hem of her kimono but before she could fall Inuyasha had caught her. Just as soon as he had steadied her, he had pushed her away from him before stalking down the hall without a word.  
  
Every time she saw Inuyasha Kagome was filled with guilt over having unknowingly delved into his sad past. She knew from experience that it hurt to have to recall such tragic events. Whenever someone asked about her mother or her childhood she would quickly change the topic, tears would form in her eyes and it would be all that she could do to blink them away. Sometimes it even hurt to look at Rin, she resembled her father greatly and while her life with Kouga was not the most unpleasant of situations, she had enjoyed her life with Hojou and at times she missed his caring, tender ways.  
  
Kagome's eyes drifted closed for a second, nothing existed to her senses except the sound of gently flowing water and the darkness of her closed eyelids. After a moment she could hear someone breathing behind her, could feel his or her breath on the back of her neck since she had put her hair up in a bun.  
  
"Konnichiwa," Kagome involuntarily shivered at the greeting, her back stiffening as her heart began to race. The person behind her, a man if the deep baritone of the voice was any indication, was standing much too close for propriety. If anyone were to walk in on this scene they would think that he pressed intimately against her back.  
  
Kagome stood, quickly turning around to face the person who had intruded upon her solitude. Trying to remain calm, she breathed steadily in and out, taking in the appearance of the man who had, a moment ago, been standing behind her.  
  
His hair was darker then her own obsidian locks, it made his skin look almost deathly pale by contrast. The length of it reached just below his shoulder in small waves. His features were noble, the lines of his face masculine and attractive. Crimson eyes that reminded her of dried blood stared straight into her own blue orbs and held her gaze. The full lips were set in a sneer.  
  
"You must be Kouga's bitch, ne?"  
  
Not knowing how to answer such a rudely phrased question, Kagome remained silent and took a step back, mindful of the pond behind her. The dark haired man took a step forward until his knees were resting against the bench the young woman had been sitting on. Kagome sighed in relief, thankful for the bench stopping his approach for the time being.  
  
"I've heard about you," he said, ignoring the fear clearly written on her face, "they said you were a ningen. Not a particularly pretty one, but the rumor is that you must be truly bewitching in bed to have snared the 'noble lord Kouga.'"  
  
The last words were said in a sneer, obviously indicating that the man before her did not hold her husband in such high regards. Ignoring the insult to her honor, Kagome responded as politely as she could.  
  
"I- I am Kouga's wife, Kagome. Gomen nasai, but I don't know your name."  
  
He snorted irritably before answering.  
  
"Of course you don't, you've never been to court. You are... common born, after all. You may call me Naraku."  
  
Biting her lip nervously, Kagome nodded in response.  
  
"Hai, Naraku-sama... I- I should probably start heading back now, Kouga could be looking for me-,"  
  
"He isn't," Naraku interjected smoothly, "he and a few others have gone to the market. They probably won't be back until sunset."  
  
The bench no longer offered any comfort as he stepped over it with his long legs. Kagome could not back up anymore and would not run because if she did and he meant her no harm she would be seen as a fool and if he did mean her harm and she ran he would most likely catch her quickly anyways. Nothing he said had been exactly threatening, it was just that she got a nervous feeling around him. The way he had been so close to her upon his arrival sent shivers up her spine.  
  
"Anou, Naraku-sama... What are-,"  
  
Before she could finish speaking his hand came up to rest against her cheek, the words she had been about to say were forgotten. His fingers were smooth and cool against her flushed face, unlike her husband's hands, which were calloused and roughed from practicing the sword.  
  
A sudden realization struck her, his name, 'Naraku,' she had heard it before. On the day after her arrival, when she had been introduced to the ou-sama and had served him and Kouga tea, hey had spoken of two men. One had been Sesshoumaru-sama's brother who Kagome now knew to be Inuyasha, the other had been this man before her, Naraku.  
  
A frown formed on her face as she recalled the words that had been spoken between Kouga and Sesshoumaru that day. 'While I do not approve of his recklessness, I would much prefer him to Naraku,' that was what Sesshoumaru had said about his brother and then Kouga had responded, 'Is it wise to speak of your. . . dislike for the Shogun so freely?'  
  
That meant that the man before her was possibly one of the most powerful men in Japan, the Shogun, the leader of the nation's army. Evidently he was a man that was not well-liked by the ou-sama or Kagome's husband.  
  
She could see now that he was a dangerous man, even more so then she had originally thought. If Kagome were to be caught in an even remotely intimate situation with him and anyone were to find out, Kouga would be bound by honor to challenge him and that alone could start a war. One did not have to know much about the intrigue of nobility to determine the outcome of such a situation. With the backing of the nation's army no one stood a chance against Naraku, and he seemed to know that fact better then anyone.  
  
Kagome flinched when those thoughts occurred to her. Tears began to form in her eyes as Naraku lowered his head so that his lips were near her ear, pinned between his body and the edge of the pond she could not move away.  
  
But before any word could leave his lips the air was shattered by a harsh, grating voice.  
  
"Oi, bakayaro. Leave the girl alone, Sesshoumaru is looking for you."  
  
Naraku stepped back away from Kagome, standing his full height. Breathing a sigh of relief, she peeped around Naraku to catch a glimpse of her savior. Much to her surprise, it was Inuyasha glaring at both of them. She was stuck between being happy and being afraid.  
  
"If I recall correctly, Inuyasha, you were the one of questionable heritage, not I."  
  
Without another word, Naraku left them, walking towards the castle.  
  
There was a single tense moment of silence before Kagome bowed deeply to the hanyou.  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu," she said.  
  
When she looked back up, he was half turned away from her.  
  
"Feh! I don't need your thanks. Just remember to stay away from that bastard or I might not be here to save you next time."  
  
Inuyasha turned to walk away but before he had taken his first step, Kagome called out to him.  
  
"Anou... Will you, umm, tell Kouga about this?"  
  
Her hands were clasped firmly together in front of her, her body was taut, her eyes filled with anxiety.  
  
"It isn't worth telling that yaze ookami, he would probably do something stupid like go after Naraku and then Sesshoumaru would have to kill him."  
  
"But. . . why would Sesshoumaru-sama do that?"  
  
Flashing her a condescending glare, Inuyasha turned around to face her fully.  
  
"Baka, don't you know anything about-,"  
  
Kagome shook her head in a negative answer, bowing so that he couldn't see her face.  
  
"I don't know anything about being youkai or nobility, surely you've heard the rumors," she said bitterly, feeling tears well up in her eyes. There was no real reason for the tears, she just felt so drained after her disturbing encounter with Naraku and she was so lonely, it all built up inside of her until the tears fell unbidden.  
  
Looking around uncomfortably, Inuyasha decided the conversation was over and left her there, alone in the garden. It was the same solitude she had found comfort in for the last few days, but now her heart seemed heavier.  
  
~*~  
  
During the evening meal, Kagome was happy to see Naraku was seated at the high table along with Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. When she had first entered the dining chamber her eyes had met briefly with Inuyasha's golden gaze before both turned away. As usual, Kouga didn't notice and led her to a seat in the center of the room.  
  
Throughout the evening she kept her eyes focused firmly on a spot on the table in front of her. When she was through eating, instead of leaving immediately like she usually did, she lingered by Kouga's side not wanting to have any more chance encounters with any of the people of the castle. More then anything she wanted to go home. As always, there were her worries about Rin to keep her mind occupied as she waited for her husband to finish his conversation.  
  
When he was finished socializing, Kouga smiled kindly down at Kagome before taking her hand to help her come to a stand beside him. They walked silently to her room and he followed her in rather then heading down the hall to his own chamber. After closing the shouji screen behind him, he placed his hands on her shoulders and his lips brushed against her neck. Making no move to either encourage or discourage her husband, Kagome stood absolutely still. His hands went to the obi of her kimono and after it was untied he lay her down upon the futon.  
  
An hour or so later, after Kouga had retired to his own guest chamber, Kagome briefly wondered in he would have desired her if Ayame were within the castle's walls. It took hardly a minute for her to decide that it was irrelevant and to drift off into an uneasy sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Author's note: I know it was a short chapter, I'm really sorry for it but like I said I'm pretty busy as of late and I had written more but this seemed like a better place to end it so I cut it. -_-  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers!  
  
Miss_Marilyn69: -_- It's kind of hard for me making Kagome all weak and weepy because it kind of irritates me or makes me depressed, heh. Anyways, sorry if I made you cry in the last chapter.  
  
BabayBunny: I'm glad you approve of my story even if it has multiple pairings. Sorry to make you wait for the update and well, Inuyasha isn't going to be playing hero just yet (even though he did sort of save her in this chapter...) anyways, I've got more in store for our classic Inuyasha couple.  
  
LottaLuvGurl: Thanks for your continued reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. ^_^  
  
Soudesuka-Shurikens: I know it's terrible how women were looked down upon back in those times and in some ways that is still going on which makes it even more sad. Bleh, anyways thanks for reading!  
  
Kawool: I'm always glad to see people doing a 'happy dance' when I update ^_^ Hope you enjoyed this update.  
  
Kari: So sorry to keep you waiting for the update, the trouble isn't even with writing for this story it's my other story that won't cooperate and I refuse to just give it up. But thanks for sticking with the story despite my infrequent updates.  
  
Youkai tsuki: ^_^ Thanks for your patient waiting! I always love to hear people say my story idea is original I think it's one of the best compliments an author can get so thanks!  
  
Rasberries: I'm glad to see that people are satisfied with the way I portrayed Sesshoumaru, I thought I might get some flames because I think I made him talk too much. But I also thought that being able to talk was an important trait for a ruler to have so I felt it necessary, nice to see that people accepted that without a problem. The funny thing about the scene where Inuyasha confronts Kagome is that it was not at all planned I was just writing and at that point I suddenly thought that it would be a good way for them to 'meet' and it would help me with keeping Inuyasha in character. ^_^  
  
KagoKitty: Glad you don't have a problem with the Sesshoumaru/Rin age difference because obviously he has to be pretty old, right? That's why he's so wise and calm. . . at least that's my take on it.  
  
New Fan: I'm just going to say that Inuyasha heard Kagome asking about him just because he was coincidentally walking down the hall and the shouji screens aren't exactly sound proof and he does have excellent hearing. ^_^  
  
Firefrost (not the one from chapter 7): Wow, that was a great compliment, I'm glad you like the story so much. Hojou's a nice guy, I don't know why some people hate him lol he's just dense not mean or anything. . . Sorry to keep you waiting for the update.  
  
Sara-sama: It is pretty important to remember the time the story is set in, sometimes even I forget and I want to make Kagome do something like be sarcastic, which a woman would absolutely not do in that time. As for your questions, all will be answered in due time ^_^.  
  
Anon: I'm writing as much as time and inspiration allows. Promise! Scouts honor. . .  
  
? : Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoyed it and sorry to keep you hangin'  
  
yg: ... xbp  
  
Janice: thanks for reading and I'm glad you like it. Hope you liked the update. 


	9. A Broken Doll

Seeking the Hime's Heart  
  
By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul  
  
Author's note: Hello everyone ^_^ Here's the latest chapter, I would have had it up on Saturday but a lot of things happened... My internet was down for the weekend, I changed the ending for the chapter several times and I'm still not too sure about this one but I couldn't really think of anything else so here it is. Enjoy and please review.  
  
Last time: An hour or so later, after Kouga had retired to his own guest chamber, Kagome briefly wondered in he would have desired her if Ayame were within the castle's walls. It took hardly a minute for her to decide that it was irrelevant and to drift off into an uneasy sleep.  
  
Chapter 9: A Broken Doll  
  
~*~  
  
Her skin was pale, as pale as the other women of the court; it was a symbol, part of the collective meaning of beauty in this country. Pale skin meant wealth and status, only women who lived easy lives and did not toil in the rice paddies or scrub clothes in rivers could have such milky-white skin. Only those who rarely ventured out into the sun, such traits were apparently desirable to men; women who were not real, who could not live out in the world alone. They existed only as pretty toys, not to be taken seriously, just play things for those who could afford to purchase them.  
  
There was a time when her flesh had not been the color of alabaster. Instead her skin had been lightly colored by the sun, though she had not worked in the fields or any such thing, she had played in its warm light, had walked through the bright streets of a market with the heated rays shining upon her face. As a child she would sometimes lay in the grassy field just outside her village lazily watching her mother plait her long dark hair into a single braid. It had been a long time ago; over twelve years, but those memories never faded. Even though she was now an adult, a mother at sixteen years of age, she could not shake off such childish memories, could not break away from a childhood she had not fully experienced.  
  
But for the moment, she had to push such thoughts away; Kouga was waiting for her in the courtyard. He had offered to accompany her to the market this day, promising to buy her anything she desired. Somehow, the kind, grand gesture had failed to even make her smile.  
  
At her side, Yumi continued to prattle on about some new rumor that Kagome didn't care to hear. Despite the fact that she was rarely ever quiet, Kagome preferred Yumi's company over her personal youkai servant. Perhaps it was because they were both ningens, but the more likely reason was because Yumi, unlike her servant from home, didn't seem to hate her. The girl placed a finely crafted umbrella into Kagome's hands.  
  
"But this isn't mine," Kagome said frowning down at the colorfully decorated umbrella, "I didn't even bring an umbrella."  
  
Shrugging, Yumi slid the door open for her lady to exit through and gave her an off-handed answer.  
  
"Kouga-sama instructed me to give it to you. I suppose he bought it when he went to the market... You know, I heard that..."  
  
Making it a point to ignore Yumi's words, Kagome walked through the castle's halls, heading towards the courtyard. She had no interest in rumors, especially since several of the more popular ones being spread seemed to focus on her, though Yumi never mentioned them to her, not anymore anyways.  
  
Entering the courtyard, Kagome was met with the intense heat of the afternoon sun. It was nice to feel the radiance of Amaterasu* caressing her cheeks as she tilted her face skyward with her eyes closed. Such warm, sunny days made her heart a bit lighter as she thought of Rin, wondering for the hundredth time that day, what her daughter was doing at that moment.  
  
From beside her Yumi whispered her name, taking the waxed paper umbrella from her hands and opening it to shield her skin from the sun.  
  
"Kagome-sama, you should shade your face from the sun. You have such nice skin; you wouldn't want the sun to ruin it."  
  
For a moment Kagome couldn't understand what Yumi meant, or rather she understood what Yumi was saying and what it meant, but couldn't think of any reason to care at the moment. The sun felt so nice, it seemed like a small price to pay for her skin to become lightly tanned.  
  
Kouga startled her from her reverie with a guiding hand placed on her lower back, with his other hand he took the umbrella from Yumi and handed it to Kagome. The two of them, with three other wolf youkai who had come with them as guards for the journey, exited the courtyard and headed down the well-worn dirt path leading towards the marketplace.  
  
"So, Kagome, have you decided what you will buy today?"  
  
Biting her lower lip nervously, Kagome shook her head. She still felt a little guilty about not being able to be excited by Kouga's generous offer.  
  
"Well. . . I don't really need anything for myself, so perhaps I will get something for Rin instead."  
  
Kouga frowned, glancing down at his young wife.  
  
"We will get something for Rin, but you should buy something for yourself as well. It doesn't have to be something you need; it can just be something you want."  
  
"Oh," Kagome whispered, looking down. "Alright,"  
  
~*~  
  
Her trip to the market had not been particularly eventful; she had bought a beautifully painted folding fan for herself and a porcelain doll for Rin. The doll was beautiful, and had been much more expensive then the fan she had bought, but she didn't care. As she had told Kouga, there was nothing that she herself needed or particularly wanted.  
  
Kagome smiled, studying the doll in her hands. The doll had a rounded face that was painted white, the lips were colored a bright red and the cheeks were two rosy circles on either side of its dainty nose. The eyes looked almost real as they stared back at Kagome, the eye lashes and eye brows were painted black. Running her free hand through her loose hair, Kagome thought that the doll had much softer hair then her own, and wondered what it could be made of, perhaps silk. The dolls hair was half up and half down. The top part was twisted into a bun, a miniature kanzashi holding it in place along with some kind of glaze that made that particular part of the hair stiff, thus insuring the bun would not come undone. Around the kanzashi there were silk flowers decorating the hair, in the center of each a small pearl had been sewn in. Even the doll's kimono was beautiful and detailed, made of soft pink silk and covered in red and white sakura blossoms. In its delicate hands it held a small fan and there were even tiny sandals adorning her feet.  
  
It was a beautiful doll, and she was eager to show it to Rin. She herself had not had a doll when she was a child and so it felt good to be able to offer her own daughter something she had been deprived of when she was growing up. Not that her childhood had been a particularly bad one, it had only been after her mother... she didn't want to think about it, instead she called Yumi to fix her hair since dinner was quickly approaching, hoping that the girl's mindless chatter would ease her nerves a bit.  
  
Just as the last pin was being secured into her hair there was a knock at her door. Kagome stood and placed the porcelain doll upon a chest that held her belongings. Calling out for her visitor to enter, Kagome heard Yumi make a surprised sound as she turned to greet her husband. Instead she was met with a golden gaze and hair the color of freshly fallen snow. Immediately, she bowed her head.  
  
"Gomen nasai, I thought you were Kouga."  
  
Inuyasha grimaced and turned away from her, his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"Feh, the yaze ookami is busy, he has business with my brother so he asked me to take you to the dining room for dinner."  
  
"Oh," she answered, closing her eyes. There was a thick tension in the air, Kagome fidgeted nervously, remembering their last encounter when he had protected her from Naraku... the things she had said and how he had turned away from her.  
  
"I'm not going," Kagome told him suddenly and she saw his back stiffen, glancing nervously at Yumi, she saw that the girl had left unnoticed. Hopefully, the girl had enough sense not to go around saying Kagome went around inviting men into her room to have private conversations, things like that would tarnish her reputation even more.  
  
He was about to leave, but she felt the need to explain herself and so called out for him to wait.  
  
"It's not that I'm ungrateful for your company, but I can't go there alone."  
  
From the corner of her eyes, Kagome saw one of his dog-like ears twitch as he turned around to once again glare at her.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm afraid," she admitted. "Afraid of sitting by myself among those people. I don't know any of them and they all hate me or look down on me. Without Kouga there's no reason for me to be there."  
  
Inuyasha rolled his eyes, taking a step forward and for a second she was afraid of what his intentions might be. But before she could protest he had grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room.  
  
"Baka, I've never seen such a pathetic person, youkai or otherwise."  
  
Frowning indignantly, Kagome tried to keep up with his pace, but it was hard since his legs were a lot longer then hers. Just as they rounded the corner that would lead them to the dining room, he released her and ordered her to follow him. At the door, there were a few youkai standing in doorway having a conversation.  
  
"Oi, you bastards get out of the way," Inuyasha said pushing through the small group. Kagome flinched at his harsh words but followed closely behind him with her eyes focused on the tatami mats, watching the heels of the hanyou's feet.  
  
He walked straight past the lower tables where the less important nobles sat and didn't stop at the table she normally sat at with Kouga, though she glanced at her usual seat she continued to obediently follow Inuyasha. After they had passed the high table where Inuyasha normally sat with his brother and Naraku, Kagome began to wonder where he was taking her. In the corner of the room there was a door that the servants entered and exited from, he lead her through that door and into a kitchen.  
  
None of the servants seemed surprised to see Inuyasha there, although a few of them threw curious glances at Kagome who still kept her eyes firmly planted on the floor. He stopped a passing servant to give her a few orders that Kagome couldn't hear due to the noise caused by all the people preparing food, then he continued to walk towards the back of the kitchen. There was another door at the back of the kitchen that Inuyasha opened and stepped out of, it lead to a small herb garden and he sat at the edge of the porch.  
  
Unsure of what she was doing, Kagome continued to stand a few feet behind him. There was that tense silence between them once again. After a few minutes a servant came out with two trays of food, sparing Kagome a single glance the girl placed both trays next to Inuyasha and then left. Picking up a bowl of rice, the hanyou began to eat and still Kagome stood silently behind him.  
  
"Well?" Inuyasha growled, "Are you gonna eat or not?"  
  
Timidly, Kagome moved forward, bending her knees to take her seat next to her tray of food.  
  
"Arigato," she whispered.  
  
He said nothing, just continued to eat, every few minutes Kagome would glance at him and she couldn't help but notice that he seemed more relaxed then usual. His eyes didn't look around suspiciously, his ears didn't twitch as much and his shoulders didn't seem so tense as they did when he ate in the formal dining hall.  
  
Of course there was a chance that rumors would start about this, the fact that they both were not present at the evening meal, but Kagome couldn't find it in her to care. It was nice to be away from the prying eyes of the court and she didn't have to worry if she ate a bit messily because obviously Inuyasha didn't care much about propriety. Also, there was a certain thrill in it; she actually enjoyed being around him despite his harsh, rude ways.  
  
After they had both finished eating, he led her back through the castle to her room and left without a word. When she got there Yumi was waiting for her and the girl seemed to look her over for a second before moving to undo her obi and take her hair down. After the girl had left, and she was lying in her futon, half wondering if Kouga would come to her room that night, she suddenly recalled Inuyasha's words, 'I've never seen such a pathetic person, youkai or otherwise.'  
  
~*~  
  
"The hime was beautiful, more beautiful then the setting sun, the falling of sakura blossoms in the spring or a crane flying gracefully through the air. Yet, despite the praises that were sang in her name and the many compliments that were bestowed upon her she was unhappy. At the very center of her heart there was a cold, black stone that made her cruel..."  
  
The hands upon her were cold, the fingers dug into her flesh; she could feel her skin on the brink of parting for the nails imbedded in her arms. With her body immobile, and her mind blank except for the writhing fear within it, she let her body go completely limp. Upon her cheeks she felt the stale icy breath of someone above her.  
  
"I hate you," it was a hoarse whisper that surrounded her, the sound resounding throughout the room and echoed, bouncing off the walls and entering her ears over and over again.  
  
Momentarily, her eyes fluttered open, the eyes staring at her were dark. They were the eyes of the dead, colorless and wide with fear.  
  
"Pathetic."  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Useless."  
  
The specter's lips never moved, but those words circled around her, coated her with grief and fear. Looking past the lifeless eyes, to the sky she saw it was red, not the mellow tone of red found at dusk, but the intense color of flames. It was a live fire, burning in the sky and eating away at the earth. But there was nothing wrong with that... Nothing at all, it would be perfect if not for the dead woman above her, the cold fingers now wrapped around her throat.  
  
Then another face appeared beside the first, this one aglow with youth, the cheeks rosy. The hair held in a half bun with ornate kanzashi. It was a living doll, the doll... The lips were a deep red and smiled at her, a dainty hand fanned away the heat descending upon them. At that moment something shattered, the sound like that of a cracked teapot split the earth in two. Above her the face of the doll, the woman, the lips still turned up in a wide smile, it fell apart, a crack formed down the center through her petite nose and the pieces fell away from each other. There was blood falling onto her face, covering her and then she screamed.  
  
~*~  
  
Kagome jerked up from her futon, a scream upon her lips and her hands flew up to her face to wipe the blood away. But there was none, there was only perspiration coating her body, the smell of it heavy within the small room. The door flew open but she was not looking in that direction. Her eyes were upon the doll lying broken beside her futon. It's face had fallen into two separate pieces, the eyes were eerily looking up at her, each side held half a smile upon red lips.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Reviewer responses:  
  
InusDemoness: First of all, thanks for the review. Now, about how Inuyasha didn't say anything to the women who were talking about him but actually insulted and pushed Kagome; well, he ignores everyone else, so the fact that he notices her says something. As far as husbands in feudal Japan goes, Kouga isn't all that bad, although he isn't the greatest either.  
  
Miss_Marilyn69: My move went pretty well, there were of course a few things I had over looked but everything is settled now and I'm happy. Thanks for your concern and your reviews.  
  
Kawool: Thanks for the review and keep up the happy dancing. ^_^  
  
Kari: * blushes * glad you think so highly of the story and thanks for the review.  
  
New Fan: As of now, Naraku doesn't really want to start a war with Kouga and he doesn't want Kagome, I just see him as the kind of person who likes to make trouble to anyone regardless of who they are. As far as Kagome's beauty goes, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' whether internal or external, you're right sometimes it takes happiness to make a person's real beauty show. Thanks for the review.  
  
Youkai tsuki: Heh, sorry it takes me a while to update, but I'm glad you think it's worth it. Guess paying attention in English class does pay off after all... Thanks for the review!  
  
KagoKitty: Glad you're enjoying the story and happy to see someone who doesn't hate me for the slow updates ^_^ I myself am a fan of angst, but always like a happy ending. Thanks for the review.  
  
Rasberries: Thank you for another beautiful review and for not wanting me to rush through the Kagome/ Inuyasha relationship because for the first time I'm trying to be patient and draw out the beginning and show the actual bonds forming rather then just jumping into the 'hopelessly in love,' stage. As always, it's great to read your input ^_^ 


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